The Voice So Strong
by nesma-the-ninja
Summary: mithcie loves music,more than anything,but she doesn't believe in herself,so she needs someone to catch her when she falls,to be there for her,will she find that someone!
1. Chapter 1

I am mitchie, I am 18 years old, I am an only child but I don't hate it because my parents are so close to me, they are my best friends, I am a normal teenager, or at least I like to think I am, I love writing, taking walks, and singing is my guilty pleasure, though my shower doesn't like it very much!

' hey mitchie! What are you going to do in the summer?' said my best friend caitlyn, I smiled at her and said 'nothing much, I think I'll look for a summer job or something, just to make the time pass, what about you?' she said 'you know, I told you about the whole camp thing, I am so excited!' I smiled at her and said 'I'm going to miss you!' she hugged me and said 'I'll miss you too! I wish you could come with me!' I said 'yeah, I don't have a hidden talent to wow the people!' she giggled and said 'yeah, because I am the singing diva!' I laughed and poked her.

We walked home together, I was putting my headphones in my ears and singing along, it was a song by shane gray called rock star, I found Caitlyn saying 'hey mitchie! Would you put mr. shane aside and talk to me please!' I smiled and said 'sorry, yeah, you were saying?' she rolled her eyes and said 'today was our last day of school, I am leaving for camp in 2 weeks, how do you want to spend this time?' I said 'we can go to the mall, have sleepovers, watch a movie or something, just the normal mitchie - caitlyn time!' she giggled and said 'yeah okay! So tomorrow sleepover at my house' I said 'sorry Caitlyn, I have to go look for a job tomorrow.' She started nagging but I said 'caitlyn tomorrow I don't have time, but after that I am all yours!' she rolled her eyes, and I laughed until we got to my house.

We ate, and then we watched a movie called 'shutter island' one of my favorite movies ever, we cried a lot, it was a sad movie, but Leonardo dicaprio was so hot, so it wasn't all bad!

After the movie was over she had to go home because it was getting late, I kissed her goodbye and she left, then I went to my room, and tried to sleep, but I was too nervous about the whole job thing, so I sat in my bed, put the headphones in my ears, and listened to some music, but then I started singing along and before I knew it I found my parents rushing into my room yelling 'WHAT ARE YOU DOING?' I removed my headphones and said 'what! I can't sleep!' my dad rolled his eyes and left but my mum said 'so you can't sleep, that mean we all have to wake up?' I said 'sorry mummy' and gave her the puppy dog face, so she laughed and said 'GO TO SLEEP!' I smiled and said 'night!' then I put back my headphones and struggled to keep my mouth shut!


	2. Chapter 2

Time passed quickly and I think I went to sleep for a while, but then my alarm went on, it was 8 am and I had to get ready for my search for a job, I got dressed to so many outfits that I lost track of how many they were, then I wore a formal dress my mum bought me a long time ago, it was blue, my favorite color, so I went to the kitchen to take votes whether they like it or not, my mum:' it's beautiful sweetheart!' I smiled at her and gave her a hug then turned to my dad who said:' it's very nice baby girl' I gave him a kiss on the cheek and then ran to my room to get my purse and phone and then ran out of the house.

I went to many places, some said I was too young, others said I didn't have enough experience, or they weren't looking for employers! Anyway then I saw a paper hung on the wall that said 'looking for workers in camp! 4 weeks of fun and music!' I thought why not? So I went to the address that was written on that paper and had an un-formal interview and they said I was in! I was so excited! A job and music!

So I ran home and told my parents, my mum:' honey but 4 weeks is too long!' me: 'mum but it's perfect for me! I REALLY want to go mum!' and I made the puppy dog face, then I stared at my dad for help he said :'let her go connie, she'll have fun and she won't feel bored! Plus, it IS job!' I looked back at my mum who said 'but..' then I looked at her with all the innocence I had in me, so she said 'fine!' I ran to her and hugged her saying 'thank you thank you!' my dad giggled.

I ran to my room, took the phone and called Caitlyn, she picked up, Caitlyn:' hello'

me:' guess who got a job?'

Caitlyn:' NO WAY!'

me: 'MEEEE!' Caitlyn laughed.

Caitlyn:' where? How?'

Me: 'well I looked everywhere and just as I was giving up I saw a paper hung on the wall that some camp was..' I was interrupted by her mum yelling at her!

Caitlyn:' sorry mitchie! I have to go but I am happy for you!' she didn't give me a chance to reply because she hung up so fast!

Me to myself :'oh well.. atleast I got a job!'.

Me and Caitlyn spent the 2 weeks doing the usual things, shopping, watching movies, sleepovers, makeovers, more shopping! Then it was the day she leaves to camp, I headed to her house to say our goodbyes, she was putting her bags in the backseat of her father's car, I ran to her and hugged her tight from behind!

Me crying:' I will miss you so much Caitlyn!'

Caitlyn hugging me back:' I will miss you more but I swear I'll call you EVERYDAY!'

Me:' promise?'

Caitlyn:' promise!'

We hugged for a while then I smiled at her when she got into the car and walked away. I whipped away my tears and went home to pack and go to work. My mum shed a few tears because it was the first time I leave home for so long, I kissed her and promised that I'd always call her, then I hugged my dad and left in a taxi.

The drive was a bit too long, but as long as I had my ipod it was okay with me! When we got there I went to the office to book in and see where I was staying and settle down, a girl came and showed me my room, then she said that she'd show me around. The camp had a soul, it looked so much fun, and there was always music playing somewhere! I really loved the place, and the people seemed nice too!

After I was done with the tour in the camp I walked to my room to unpack and get ready for work, then I remembered!

Me:' oh God I forgot to call my mum! She is going to kill me!' I took my phone and called her, she picked up.

Mum:' mitchie? Where have you been?'

Me:' sorry mum I got busy! I am fine, don't worry!'

Mum:' don't ever forget again! I was worried sick!'

I giggled but tried to hide my laugh.

Me:' sorry mum, but this place is perfect!'

Mum:' I am glad you like it sweetie!'

Me:' okay mum, I have to go now to unpack and get ready for my new job!' she laughed.

Mum:' okay honey, but call me again today, ok?'

Me:' okay mum, love you!' then I hung up without hearing her answer.

I changed into black jeans and a red t-shirt, then I wore a cap with the camp's name on it, then I walked out to go to the class where I would assist the teacher. As I was walking I saw someone familiar, someone I knew very well, I walked behind her, then she was hugging a guy, when she pulled out of the hug she looked my way and her mouth dropped to the floor, I laughed at her sight, then she ran towards me and hugged me!

Caitlyn:' Oh My God mitchie! What are you doing here?'

Me:' well miss Caitlyn, I am a counselor here ar camp'

Caitlyn:' NO WAY!'

Me pointing at my cap:' yes way!' she giggled again and hugged me while I smiled. Then she pulled back from the hug and introduced me to the guy she was hugging.

Caitlyn:' this is barron, he is my friend here! This is mitchie, my BFF'

Barron:' yo mitchie! Nice to meet you!'

Me:' nice to meet you too barron!'

He smiled at me and then he went to say hi to the rest of his friends, Caitlyn looked at me

Caitlyn:' guess who is coming to give us a couple of lesson?' I made a thinking face and she giggled.

Caitlyn:' SHANE GRAY!' I jumped in my place!

Me:' get out of here! No way!'

Caitlyn:' I ain't no liar!' I laughed and kept jumping, then she surrendered and jumped with me!


	3. Chapter 3

After we finished celebrating, and let out all the silliness we had, she walked with me until we got to the class where I should be assisting the counselor, we went in, everybody knew Caitlyn but I was new, so I felt a bit nervous.

Caitlyn:' hey everybody! This is my bestfriend mithcie!'

Everyone:' hey mitchie!' I laughed and waved with my hand welcoming them.

Me:' hey guys, I am mithcie, I work here as an assistant, or anything else actually!' they laughed which made me relax a bit more.

Me:' I love music so I guess we won't disagree or anything.. so.. I guess that's all!'

One of the boys:' so you don't have any hidden talent?'

Me:' well.. I don't know..' I was interrupted by Caitlyn!

Caitlyn:' she has THE best singing voice ever! And she also writes her own songs! She is a diva I tell you!' I smiled awkwardly

Me:' no Caitlyn is exaggerating as usual!'

Someone from the background:' then why don't you let us decide?' I took a good look and was surprised when I saw who it was! It was shane gray! Ofcourse I almost passed out, but I smiled.

Me:' no no.. I am an assistant! Maybe you should sing mr. shane!'

Shane:' I will.. but only if you sing along!'

Me:' I don't think that's a very good idea..'

Caitlyn:' it is a great idea! Come on mitchie!'

I looked at her begging her to shut up but if I knew Caitlyn she would never shut up!

Shane:' if you guys want me to sing, you have to convince miss mitchie over here to sing with me!' so everybody kept asking me to sing, and yelling all at once, I was so nervous, but I saw shane walking towards me with a magical smile on his face, I was melting into his gaze, then he stood next to me, flashed a perfect smile, and he switched the radio on, and I found 'take my heart back' by Jennifer love Hewitt playing, I loved that song but it always made me cry!

Shane:' sing with me..' I nodded in refuse but he started singing staring into my eyes.

Shane:' it'll be alright.. you said… tomorrow..' then he signaled to me to sing but I already had tears in my eyes.

Shane:' don't you cry… don't you shed a tear..'

Me:' when you wake up.. I'll still be here.. when you wake up.. we'll battle all your fears..'

Shane:' and now I'll take my heart back.. leave your pictures on the floor.. steal back my memories.. I can't take it anymore!'

Me:' I've cried my eyes out.. and now I face the years.. the way you loved me.. vanished all the tears..'

Shane:' just a little time was all we needed..'

Then I started crying, really crying, so Caitlyn ran towards me and hugged me, and shane switched off the radio, all the other students left gradually and Caitlyn and shane stayed with me.

A while later when I finally started calming down, and pulled back from caitlyn's arms, shane was staring at me and said 'I am really sorry..'

Me:' no.. it isn't your fault.. I just get really emotional when I listen to that song..'

Shane:' why?'

I took a deep breath, and looked down.

Me:' well.. because my sister passed away a year ago.. she was 2 years younger than me.. she got.. cancer.. and she passed away.. so.. I really needed more time with her..' a few tears escaped my eyes, shane wiped them away.

Shane:' I am sorry..'

I nodded. Me:' me too..' then I looked up at him, forced a smile and said 'you have no idea how much I love you!'

Shane:' oh you are so sweet! And by the way.. you are a total diva!'

I giggled. Me:' oh you are exaggerating but thanks!'

He smiled. Shane:' you are welcome, but I am really not..' I just smiled then we walked together out of class with Caitlyn.

As we were walking to my room, a few students who were with me in the room would flash smiles at me in compassion and I would just smile back, other girls would look at me as if they were seeking revenge because of the way shane treated me, and those, I ignored.

When we got to my room, shane looked at me.

Shane:' are you sure you are okay?'

Me: 'yeah.. I am..'

Shane:' again.. I am really sorry I pushed you!'

Me:' no shane.. it's okay..' then I smiled at him.

He leaned towards me and gave me a tender kiss on the cheek, I just smiled, went into my room, waved goodbye, and closed the door. I ran to my bed and fell on my back, I was so happy! Shane was like my celebrity crush/young idol. I got my phone out and called my mum.

Mum:' mitchie! Hey!'

Me:' hey mum! Guess who I met today?'

Mum:' who?'

Me:' SHANE… GRAY!'

Mum screaming:' what? How lucky is that!'

Me:' I know, right? Well he is so sweet mum! He is kind, caring, and he is so sensitive!'

Mum:' I am glad you are happy sweetie! But take care, don't trust him too much!'

Me:' fine, mum.'

Mum:' I missed you already honey..'

Me:' I missed you too.'

Mum:' okay, go to sleep now! And be safe sweetie, I love you'

Me:' love you too mum, goodnight' and then I hung up.

I laid back, and put my head on my pillow, and then I closed my eyes with a smile on my face. That night I dreamt about my sister, Ashley, she still looked the same, but she didn't look sick, she looked healthy and happy, she looked relieved, she looked at peace.

Ashley:' mitchie, believe in yourself, listen to your heart, but don't fall too fast, take care mitchie, take care.' Then I woke up. I was a bit confused, but I remembered last night, so I smiled. I got up, brushed my teeth, and got dressed into a pink dress with a navy jacket and pink sandals, I walked out of my room and walked to caitlyn's room but I didn't find her, so I walked to the manager's office to introduce myself, I knocked and walked inside.

Me:' hello, sorry if I disturbed you, I am mitchie, I started working yesterday!'

The manager:' oh yes hi, sorry I couldn't meet you yesterday, a lot goes on in this camp!' I giggled.

Me:' no problem, I just thought I would step by and introduce myself, just to let you know I am here, and to learn more about my tasks here..'

The manager:' first off my name is brown cessario.' I smiled.

Me:' sorry! I jumped too fast!'

Mr. brown:' no problem, well you are here as an assistant, with counselors, and other employees, and for now nothing more, but if you need any help come and tell me!' I smiled.

Me:' thank you, nice to meet you mr. brown!'

Mr. brown:' nice to meet you too mitchie!' then I walked out with a smile.

I found Caitlyn running towards me with a big smile on her face!

Caitlyn:' come with me! I have a BIG surprise for you!' then she pulled me from my hand and I just walked behind her. Then I found myself infront of a big stage, with shane and his two brothers nate and Jason. I stood there in shock!

Shane:' I am shane gray and those are my brothers, nate and Jason! We are here to perform a song by a very special girl..' he looked at me.

Shane:' she has no idea how special she is! This song is written by her and it's called I'll always need you' I already had tears in my eyes because that song I wrote a few months ago about my sister Ashley, but I never showed it to anyone! But I knew it was Caitlyn, it always is!


	4. Chapter 4

Shane:' you were gone too soon..

And I miss you..

Since I lost you, the night has no moon

And I miss you..

I'll never forget you

You are always on my mind

I'll always miss you

You are always by my side

You will always be..

A part of me..

You'll always help me through

And I'll always miss you

Don't think I'll forget about you

You are always with me

You are the star I wish upon

And that way, you will never be gone

But still… I'll always miss you

I .. will.. always miss.. you'

I had tears in my eyes but I tried to stop them from falling, shane left the stage, and walked towards me.

Shane:' don't cry, that song is… so beautiful! You are.. amazing mitchie!' I forced a smile and then he pulled me into a hug, I felt so safe in his arms, which was really weird since I barely knew him, but still, I just felt like I belonged in his arms.

When he pulled out of the hug, he looked into my eyes and winked. Then Caitlyn looked at me and smiled a warm smile like she was saying everything is going to be okay, I smiled back. Nate and Jason sang another song but shane stood next to me, staring at me every once in a while, after they finished their performance, they came towards us and shane introduced me, they seemed very nice and friendly, we talked for a while, and giggled, they made me laugh even though I didn't feel like it, a while later each one of us headed to his room. When I got to my room, I took out a picture of me with Ashley, I put here near my heart and whispered 'I will always miss you' then a tear escaped my eyes. I went to sleep holding the picture in my hands.

I woke up next morning on the sound of my ringtone, just the way you are by Bruno mars, it was my dad.

Me:' hey daddy!'

Dad:' hey sweetie! How are you?'

Me:' I am fine! But I need to tell you something..'

Dad:' is there something wrong?'

Me:' no no don't worry! But.. shane gray.. you know him right?'

Dad:' yes of course!'

Me:' well he came here to camp, and yesterday his brothers came too, they performed and it was great! But daddy.. they performed a song I wrote!'

Dad:' what?'

Me: 'yeah daddy.. it was.. unbelievable!'

Dad:' I am so proud of you honey!' I smiled to myself.

Me:' thanks daddy, I love you'

Dad:' love you too mitchie!' and then we hung up.

I did what I usually do everyday, then I wore jeans and a yellow shirt that said ' I am too loud for you!' then I put the cap with the camp's name on it and I left. I found mr. brown infront of me, he smiled at me and I walked towards him to say hey.

Mr. brown:' hey mitchie, how are you today?'

Me:' I am fine sir!'

Mr. brown:' good to hear that, by the way, great song!' I looked confused.

Mr. brown:' yes I heard the song shane and his brothers sang and he told me it was yours..' I smiled and he put his hands on my shoulder.

Mr. brown:' you have got talent mitchie, don't forget that!' I smiled and nodded, then he left and walked to class.

It was a singing lesson, I walked into class saying :' hey class, I am mitchie, and I'll be your counselor's assistant for today' when I looked up I heard someone talking.

Someone:' hello, assistant, I am the counselor' I smiled at that voice, the counselor was shane!

Me:' well mr. shane, I'd be glad to do you any help' he giggled and walked towards me.

Shane to class:' I am here today not as a counselor, because singing can't be taught, you feel the song, and you express those words your own way! So class, who would like to go first?' a girl raised her hands in confidence and stood up and walked towards us!

Girl:' I do!' so shane gave her the microphone, and then she turned the radio on to find the only girl in the world by Rihanna playing, she looked at shane and winked, I felt something, I think I was jealous! But why? Shane and I aren't together or anything, but still, that didn't stop me from feeling a bit angry at her!

Girl:' want you to make me feel, like I'm the only girl in the world! Like I'm the only one that you'll ever love! Like I'm the only one that knows your heart!' she could sing, but her voice wasn't powerful, I mean she wasn't celine dion or Mariah carey! She was… I don't know, but all I know is that she wasn't the girl that I would go WOW when I listen to her!

She sang a bit more then shane interrupted by turning off the radio, she looked at him is a bit of anger and maybe shock?

Shane:' thank you miss..'

Girl:' Theresa.. well tess.. tess taylor!' and she gave her hand for shane to shake it.

Me:' tess taylor? Are you the daughter of…' she interrupted me!

Tess:' yes ditchie, daughter of T.J taylor!'

Me:' it's mitchie..'

Tess:' whatever! So shane, what did you think of my singing?'

Shane:' well… I don't know how to put it..'

Tess:' huh? What do you mean? You didn't like it?'

Shane:' no no, that is not what I mean! Okay, you can sing..'

Tess interrupting him:' that's for sure!'

Shane:' but I didn't feel your emotions! The lyrics are beautiful, I didn't feel your need for him to need you! I just wanted more soul into it!' tess turned around after flipping her hair as if she didn't care, she left and stood at the back of the class and kept staring at shane in anger and sometimes rolling her eyes.

He looked at me as if he was in trouble, I giggled a bit but tried to keep it in so that I wouldn't get a piece of her mind! Shane then faced the class again.

Shane:' well I would like to hear somebody else please, who would like to sing?' nobody answered, I laughed, shane turned around and faced me with a smile, a wicked smile.

Me:' oh no no no no! NO shane! Not again!' shane walked slowly towards me, I was nodding my head in refusal

Shane whispering in my ears:' come on! I need a real voice singing!' I smiled at him.

Me:' then you sing!'

Shane:' NO! I am here as a counselor, and you are my assistant! So I want you to sing!'

Me:' shane please don't make me! I don't want to!'

Shane:' fine! Then go get me a real voice to sing!' I crossed my arms and walked towards the students, whenever I get near anyone they'd turn their eyes the other way! I didn't know anyone yet, but I HAD TO find someone! I didn't feel like falling apart infront of the class again. I looked at Caitlyn, asking for help, she pointed at a girl who was sitting in the corner by herself, I sat next to her.

Me:' hey what's your name?'

Girl:' Margaret..'

Me:' would you like to sing?' she nodded in refuse, but something about her made me feel like she was the one. I stood up, gave her my hand to take, she hesitated but then she finally took it and I helped her stand. We walked towards shane and I smiled at him, he looked a bit disappointed because he was hoping I couldn't find anyone so that I'd sing, so I giggled at him.

Margaret faced the class, and then she looked at me and shane.

Margaret:' I don't want to do this! They are all staring at me!'

Me:' just imagine you are singing to yourself, or to someone you trust, it's only you and the world Margaret!' she smiled at me and turned around again. I saw shane staring at me with the side of my eyes but I didn't show that I saw him. I turned on the the radio, ghost of you by selena gomez played.

Margaret:' I turned my back to the door.. feels so much better now.. don't even try anymore.. nothing left to lose.. there's a voice that's in the air saying don't look back nowhere.. there's a voice that's always there! And I'll never be quite the same as I was before this.. part of you still remains oh it's out of focus.. you're just somewhere that I've been and I won't go back again.. you're just somewhere that I've been..'

She stopped singing, opened her eyes to face the students, they had no emotion on their faces for a moment, she was almost crying, then they all started cheering and clapping their hands for her! She looked at me with tears of joy, then I gave her a hug, shane looked at me with a smile and then he gave me a tender kiss on the cheek, I was surprised! Wow! Shane kissed me! I just smiled at him. I spent the rest of the day with Caitlyn and sometimes I'd see shane and we'd exchange smiles, but just his gaze glued at me made me feel like I wasn't on earth anymore! I was really falling for him..


	5. Chapter 5

The first week at camp was really fun, Caitlyn helped me blind in, and shane.. shane made me feel like I mattered! He believed in me, he thought I was amazing! And just that, drew a smile on my face. My job was so much fun too! I never got bored or tired, if I had a choice I would work forever and never go to school! Of course I called my parents daily, and kept them updated.

One day I couldn't sleep, so I took a walk and ended up sitting infront of the lake, watching the stars and the calm movement of the water in the lake, then I heard a voice behind me.

Voice:' hey assistant!' when I heard that word I knew it was shane and an instant smile was on my lips, I looked back at him and smiled.

Me:' what are you doing up so late counselor?' he giggled and sat next to me.

Shane:' the same thing you are doing!'

Me:' which is?'

Shane:' I can't sleep either, and this is a very peaceful place where I can always clear my mind.' I smiled at him and nodded.

Shane:' I need to tell you something mitchie..'

Me:' sure!'

Shane:' I … I am.. I like you!'

Me:' wh.. what?'

Shane:' I am falling head over heels for you! I think about you ALL the time, and just the thought makes me smile and makes my heart skip a beat! Mitchie.. I REALLY like you..' I smiled at him, and leaned close to him, and my lips touched his lips, and I felt like his lips were made for mine, it felt so magical, it felt so real! Then I pulled back and smiled at him. I put my head on his shoulder and we spent the night talking and watching the stars.

It was now 6 am, I looked at him in amazement! How times fly when you are with the someone you were meant to be with!

Me:' WOW! It is already 6 am? I have to get ready for work!' he giggled.

Me:' what? It's still work you know!' he stood up, smiled at me.

Shane:' okay okay, sorry miss assistant!' I nudged him and we walked together to my room, then I entered and he walked to his room, I changed and put on a green dress and a white jacket over it, I put a bit of make up too, I was now shane's girlfriend, I think, well anyway I had to look good!

I headed to dance class, that was what I was the assistant in, as usual I introduced myself, then I saw barron, I hugged him.

Me:' hey barron! Haven't seen you in a while!'

Barron:' you know mitch, I have been busy!' I laughed at the way he talked. Then the counselor came in, it was the first time I've seen him, I introduced myself and stood behind him to see if he was going to need anything.

Counselor:' well I want to see a few steps, come on! Any volunteers?' as usual nobody raised his hand, so he had to choose someone himself, he turned to me.

Counselor:' miss mitchie, who do you recommend?' I swallowed.

Me:' well I don't know them all but.. I know barron and Caitlyn are really good!'

Counselor:' okay then, barron and Caitlyn come here!' they came out of the crowd and stood next to me. I turned on the radio and watch me by bella thorne and zendaya was on! I loved dancing to the song! But ofcourse I was no good! So I just watched Caitlyn and barron dancing, first each one of them alone, then both of them, they were REALLY good! I was kind of proud of myself for choosing them.

Counselor:' well nice choice miss mitchie!' I smiled.

Counselor:' well you two are really talented! Good to see that there is real talent in this place!' everybody laughed.

The class was over, I walked out with Caitlyn, barron followed us.

Barron:' yo mitchie! Thanks for picking me there!' I smiled.

Me:' sure barron! You were good so I just had to choose you!' barron just smiled and left to his friends.

Caitlyn:' so how are things with shane?'

Me:' what thing?' Caitlyn raised an eyebrow because she knew I was lying! I laughed.

Me:' well, yesterday, he told me he liked me, and we kissed, but no biggy!'

Caitlyn:' no biggy? Are you kidding me?' then she started jumping up and down! I laughed at the sight. Then someone kissed me on the cheek from behind, I found Caitlyn staring behind me after she stopped jumping. I turned around and it was shane!

Me:' hey shane!'

Shane:' hey mitch! I missed you!'

Me:' me too' and I was blushing.

Me:' so what do you want to do tonight?'

Shane:' I can't do anything! My manager is coming today and he will be keeping me busy until he leaves which might be in a week or so!' I frowned a little.

Shane putting his hand on my shoulder:' I know mitchie! I will miss you too.. but you know..'

Me:' yeah I know.. I understand shane.. it's fine!'

Shane:' sure?' I nodded, he gave me a kiss, then he waved goodbye at Caitlyn and left.

Caitlyn:' oh..my..GOD!' I giggled. Then we walked together to the next class. I didn't see shane much that day, I sort of missed his glares, his gaze fixed on me, his perfect smile! But I knew how important his work was to him so I understood. That night I was sitting in my room wearing my pijamas with dora on the shirt, I was eating while watching TV, then I found an interview with shane!

I smiled as soon as I saw his face, but something wasn't right! Tess was standing next to him, and this interview was being videotaped from his room here in camp! So I raised the voice and listened to what they were saying.

Interviewer:' so shane, you met the girl of your dreams here at camp?'

Shane:' yes..' I smiled so big.

Shane:' tess is everything I have ever wanted in a girl! Even though she is practically a celebrity she is so down to earth and her voice is magical!' she was sitting next to him with his hands on her shoulder, she giggled and kissed him on the cheek. I was horrified by what I was seeing! Girl of his dreams? Tess? How come? Then what was I ? I felt so betrayed.. so hurt! I closed my eyes and let a tear escape from my eyes, then I turned off the TV and walked towards my bed, I took that picture of me and Ashley out of my bag.

Me:' so that's what you meant by don't fall too hard.. you were right Ashley..' then I started crying.


	6. Chapter 6

That night I cried myself to sleep, and again I dreamt of Ashley.

Ashley:' mitchie, don't be sad, I know you broke your heart, but maybe the one who broke it would be the one to fix it again, just hold on.' Then I woke up, my eyes were swollen and red because of all the crying, so I knew that if I went to work everybody would notice, and I didn't feel like talking anyway, so I called mr. brown.

Me:' hello, mr. brown?'

Mr. brown:' mitchie?'

Me:' yeah, I was wondering if you can give me permission to skip work, just for today..'

Mr. brown:' why mitchie? Are you.. okay?'

Me with tears in my eyes:' yeah.. I am just a bit tired and I may be getting a cold, I am sorry..'

Mr. brown:' no mitchie, it is fine, take care.'

Me:' thanks mr. brown, bye.' Then I hung up. I didn't feel like watching TV, mostly scared to see any news about that interview, so I just sat on my bed, took out my notebook and started writing, I didn't know exactly what I was writing about, I just let my heart lead me through the words in an attempt to let it all out and feel better, but while I was writing tears were streaming down my face and I didn't even try to stop them. I was really hurt, I hated what he did to me, but I still loved him, but how? And why? Those questions I couldn't answer, I just knew how I felt.

My thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door, I wiped away my tears and tried to pull myself together, I opened the door to find Caitlyn, when I saw her tears started streaming again and I found myself hugging her tight and crying on her shoulder, she was really worried, she didn't know what happened.

Caitlyn:' mitchie, what is wrong? Come on talk to me!'

Me:' I .. will… tell… you..' I said while crying.

She helped me sit on the bed and sat next to me, she held my hand and wiped the tears escaping from my eyes.

Caitlyn:' what happened?'

Me while looking down:' you didn't watch TV yesterday?'

Caitlyn: 'no, why?'

Me:' well they had an interview with shane.. and.. and he was with tess Caitlyn!' I saw her expressions changing from compassion to confusion and anger.

Me:' he said.. shane said that.. she was the girl of his dreams! She kissed him Caitlyn! And I was here watching it! I didn't know what happened! Why did he do that? Why Caitlyn?' I was now weeping, so Caitlyn hugged me putting my head on her shoulder and patting my back.

A while later I calmed down, she was still with me, Caitlyn was that type of friend, always there for me no matter what.

Caitlyn:' are you feeling better?' I forced a smile and nodded.

Me:' thank you Caitlyn.' She smiled at me and hugged me, I hugged back.

Me:' Caitlyn, I want to be alone for a while, do you mind?'

Caitlyn:' okay, but if you need anything you'll call me, right?'

Me:' of course.' I walked her to the door, she gave me one last hug and walked to her room, I closed the door and headed to my bed, I found my phone ringing, it was my mum.

Mum:' mitchie! Why didn't you call today? Are you trying to give me a heart attack?'

Me:' sorry mum, I was.. occupied.'

Mum:' occupied? Mitchie, you promised you'd call and you didn't! I was worried sick about you!'

Me:' I am.. sorry mum.. I really am.. it won't happen again..' I heard her sigh.

Mum:' how was your day?'

Me:' as usual mum.. nothing new..' I felt my voice crack but I couldn't help it.

Mum:' is there something wrong sweetie?'

Me:' no mum.. I am just tired and I want to go to sleep.. we'll take more tomorrow..'

Mum:' okay honey, take care..' then I was going to hang up but I needed to say something more.

Me:' mum.. I love you..'

Mum:' I love you too sweetie, goodnight' then we both hung up. i put my head on the pillow, closed my eyes and slowly went to sleep.

That night I didn't dream about Ashley, I didn't dream at all, it was a weird night, anyway when I woke up I was feeling so tired, and I REALLY didn't want to face shane, or tess, or anybody really. But I had to, at least for mr. brown. So I wore black jeans and a purple t-shirt with a smile on it, I wasn't smiling on the inside but I had to pretend. I put my hair into a pony tail and I put on the camp's cap and left my room after taking a deep breath. I walked to class and as I was walking I saw barron, he waved at me and I smiled and waved back, then Caitlyn jumped on me from behind and hugged me, I smiled.

Caitlyn:' how are you today?' I tried to make my fake smile a bit bigger and I just nodded. She hugged me again.

Caitlyn:' I am on to you.. I am with you mitch!' I just hugged her so that she wouldn't see the tears. Then we walked together to class, it was singing class, I stood with Caitlyn until the counselor comes, then the door opened and the counselor came in, it was shane.


	7. Chapter 7

When I saw him walk into the room, I felt my heart beat faster and faster, I just looked down, I knew that if I faced him I would end up crying, when he saw me he walked towards me with a big smile on his face.

Shane:' hey mitch.' I didn't answer him, I looked at Caitlyn and whispered something in her ear.

Me to Caitlyn:' I think I will go..' then I walked pass him and left. He grabbed my arm and turned me around.

Shane:' what's wrong mitchie?' I pulled my hand from his and looked into his eyes in so much pain, then I turned around and left. He followed me and he kept calling my name, I just kept walking trying to fight the tears, then as I was walking I bumped into someone, it was mr. brown.

Mr. brown:' what's wrong mitchie?'

Me:' nothing.. nothing mr. brown..' then he saw shane running our way so he knew something was wrong. Shane caught up with me and pulled me from my arm again so that my eyes would be in his eyes.

Shane:' what.. is.. wrong?' I didn't answer, I looked at mr. brown.

Me to mr. brown:' I am sorry for this mr. brown, I think I should go home, I don't want to work here anymore..' mr. brown looked at me surprised, until the day before yesterday I was all over this job! I was so excited and happy, what happened? He wondered but of course he couldn't guess.

Mr. brown:' but why mitchie?'

Me:' I am just.. I am sorry..' then I walked pass mr. brown and ran to my room, shane ran after me, when I finally got to my room, I locked the door behind me and fell to my knees crying, this was the one I love, but he didn't love me back, he broke my heart, that was pain I can't handle, and I can't face him everyday, I HAD to leave camp.

I heard shane knocking on the door, and yelling, which made me cry more!

Shane through the door:' mitchie open up! Mitchie tell me what happened!' I didn't answer.

Shane:' fine mitchie.. but I am going to stay here.. for days if that is what it takes for you to talk to me.. I WON'T leave mitchie.. I won't' I heard him fall infront of the door, hitting his head against the door, all I wanted to do was run away from this place, because if I didn't, I would run to him, and I can't.. I just can't. I heard my phone ringing, it was a text, it was from Caitlyn.

Text:' mitchie, what happened? Is he with you now? Do you need me to come?' I replied to the message.

Reply:' he followed me and now he is infront of my door, but no Caitlyn, I have to face this alone, you take your classes and I'll call you tonight, I love you' she replied back.

Caitlyn's reply:' I love you too, stay strong.'

I sat on my bed trying to stop crying, but it was too hard, I didn't eat for 2 days now, I was so tired. A couple of hours later it was getting late, I looked through the window and shane was still outside.

Me through the door:' shane go to your room..'

Shane:' no mitchie! I have to understand what happened!'

Me:' I don't want to talk.. I just.. I will go home and we'll never see each other again and that would be it! I am tired shane!'

Shane:' of what?'

Me:' of the pain you are causing me! I am tired of you! You are a rock star! Why did you choose me? You have millions of girls would die for you to take them! Why me?'

Shane:' because you are the only girl my eyes see.. you are the only girl my heart would let in! the only girl whose smile lightens up my life! And her pain break my heart to a thousand pieces! Mitchie.. there is nobody else but you!'

I was crying now, but I wiped the tears, opened the door and walked towards shane.

Me:' shane.. you.. the interview..' shane sighed.

Shane:' is that what this is all about?' I nodded. Shane put his arms on my shoulder.

Shane:' my manager.. he told me I had to pretend tess was my girlfriend for a while for publicity, you know, since she is famous and all!'

Me:' shane, you could have told me!'

Shane:' I know.. I am sorry.. I just.. I was scared you'd get it the wrong way!' I nodded then I turned around to go back to my room, but shane grabbed my arm.

Shane:' where are you going?'

Me:' I am going to pack..'

Shane:' what? Still?' I nodded, then I turned around again when shane pulled me again from my arm and this time he pulled me close to him, and I felt his warm body against mine, then he leaned and gave me a kiss, at first I was going to fight it, but his lips on mine, was just meant to be.

I pulled out from the kiss, smiled at him, he smiled back.

Me:' so what now?'

Shane:' I told you.. tess is part of the rock star's life.. but you mitchie.. you are part of my real life!' I smiled.

Me:' but shane.. I can't take this for long.. I mean.. shane the rock star is part of shane the person.. I just can't be with part of you!' he nodded.

Shane:' just for a while mitchie.. I promise..' I smiled at him then he hugged me, I hugged back.

Me:' shane, I still have to tell mr. brown that I am staying..' shane giggled and he walked with me to mr. brown's office, I knocked and we both entered.

Me:' mr. brown.. ' he smiled big at me and I smiled back.

Mr. brown:' tell me you are staying..' I smiled.

Me:' I am.. of course if you agree..' he laughed!

Mr. brown:' of course I agree! The kids would have eaten me alive if you left! They became very fond of you!' I smiled.

Me:' I became very fond of them too, thanks for understanding mr. brown' he nodded, then his eyes were on shane.

Mr. brown to shane:' so it was your fault!' shane giggled.

Shane:' sort of.. well practically it was my manager's fault!' mr. brown giggled and nodded.

Me:' well I think we should go now.' Shane nodded and smiled at mr. brown who smiled back.

Me:' goodnight mr. brown'

Shane:' goodnight uncle!'

Mr. brown:' goodnight kids!' but I was thinking uncle? He said uncle?


	8. Chapter 8

As we were walking to our rooms, I kept wondering why shane never told me that mr. brown was his uncle.

Me:' so… uncle huh?' he giggled and nodded.

Me:' how come you never told me?'

Shane:' well I don't know.. it isn't something I say in a casual conversation!' I smiled.

Shane:' so, tell me more about you, I mean what do you love? What do you hate? Your friends? Crushes? Ex-boyfriends?' I laughed.

Me:' I don't know.. it isn't something that I usually say in a casual conversation!' he laughed and poked me.

Shane:' no come on! Tell me..'

Me:' well, I am a total sucker for blue eyes!' he sighed and I laughed because his eyes were brownish hazel.

Me:' don't worry, I am a sucker for a lot of things!' he laughed.

Me:' my favourite color is blue, I prefer the guy with short hair, I love music more than anything, I love watching romantic movies or movies full of drama, I cry a lot watching movies! My friends.. hmmm.. well my parents and Caitlyn are the closest, I love my grandparents so much! And Ashley was my best friend in this world.. so.. yeah that's pretty much it..' he smiled at me.

Shane:' okay, ex-boyfriends?'

Me:' nosy!' he laughed.

Me:' well I had one boyfriend only, for 3 years, but we broke up after Ashley passed away..'

Shane:' may I ask why?' I sighed.

Me:' well shane.. Ashley got really sick before she passed away.. I was with her most of the time at the hospital and such.. so I didn't really have time to meet up with bryan, who is the ex-boyfriend we are talking about, then on her funeral he didn't come.. so.. after the funeral was over I was taking a walk and passed by his house to find him kissing some girl.. so.. yeah..' I was tearing up shane put two fingers on my face and raised it up so that my eyes were in his, then he kissed my forehead.

Shane:' you don't deserve that..' I forced a smile.

Me:' yeah.. so what about you?'

Shane:' well before I got famous, I had a girlfriend, she was called Vanessa, she was a total snob! She was bitchy with everyone, so nobody really liked her but she was a total hottie!' I looked at him.

Me:' excuse me?' he giggled.

Shane:' by the way, I call a girl hottie when she only has looks, when she is beautiful on the outside and not so much on the inside, you see mitchie.. you are not a hottie!' I wasn't sure if that was a compliment.

Shane:' you are gorgeous, amazing, and beautiful inside out..' I smiled then I leaned in towards him and he leaned too, then we kissed, whenever I kissed him I felt sparks like no other, like we were meant to be. Then I pulled back from the kiss.

Me:' okay shane, what else?'

Shane:' my favourite color is actually green, I love music, it is my whole world, my brothers are my best friends, and I don't like horror movies, and I am a total sucker for.. well you!' I smiled and bit my lower lip, I was blushing.

We got to my room, we stood infront of the door for a while not wanting to say goodbye, then his phone rang, he hesitated whether he should answer or not, then he picked up.

Shane:' hey, no I am fine! No I don't think that's a good idea.. why? Because I don't really like you tess, come on! You know it's a game.. yes! Yes I love her… tess come on..' then it seemed like she hung up in the middle of the conversation. Shane sighed.

Me:' tess huh?' he nodded. I just hugged him, he hugged back.

Me:' don't worry.. I am with you shane..'

Shane:' thanks mitchie..' then I went to my room and he walked to his. I called Caitlyn as I promised.

Caitlyn:' hey mitch! How are you now?'

Me:' I am good Caitlyn!'

Caitlyn:' so what happened with him?'

Me:' well he explained what happened… it's a plan his manager made for shane to gain popularity by dating a celebrity which is tess! So he doesn't like her or anything.. it's just a publicity thing!'

Caitlyn:' aha.. okay.. well I am glad you are happy!'

Me:' I am Caitlyn!'

Caitlyn:' I am glad.. goodnight mitchie!'

Me:' goodnight Caitlyn!' then we hung up. That night I went to sleep with a huge smile on my face, I was totally in love with shane!

The next day I woke up, did what I normally do, called my mum, then I wore a red dress with flowers on it as a pattern and a black jacket, as usual I put on the cap and left. I had to assist shane today, so I was excited! I walked into class and shane was already there, I smiled at him, then I saw tess walking his direction, so I just walked towards Caitlyn and barron.

Caitlyn:' hey mitch!'

Me:' hey caitlyn! Hey barron!'

Barron hugged me. Then they looked and saw tess throwing herself on shane, he obviously seemed upset.

Caitlyn:' are you okay?' I nodded. Then it was time to begin the class, shane left tess standing by herself and stood in the middle of the class, as usual I stood behind him.

Shane:' okay guys, I have a song I am writing, and I need someone's help in it, it is a duet, so today we won't sing, we'll write songs!' the whole class went 'wohoooo!' and I was pretty excited too.

Shane:' well I've heard Margaret singing, and mitchie too, and of course tess, so I need someone new! Who would like to help me write a hit?' as usual nobody volunteered, but I was very excited to see shane's song! And also to see who here wrote songs!

Shane turned around and looked at me!

Me:' what shane? No! I am not even a student!'

Shane:' well I can't find anybody else!' then a voice came from the background.

Voice:' I can do it!' when we looked closer it was.. tess! Shane made an annoyed face and I sighed. Tess came towards us, grabbed the paper which had shane's song on it, and winked at shane. I took a few steps back and turned around.

Tess:' okay so you wrote "a tender kiss.. on my lips.. it shows you care.." I'll say complete it by "through your flips.. you are still my miss.. so the bed lets share!" ' shane's mouth dropped to the floor, I giggled a bit along with the rest of the class, so she walked out furious!

I whispered to myself: ' upon a star.. I make a wish.. that you'll always be there..' shane looked at me with a smile.

Shane:' what did you just say?'

Me: nothing!'

Shane:' come on mitchie! Just repeat it again!'

Me:' fine! I said upon a star.. I make a wish.. that you'll always be there! Happy?' shane walked towards me with a smile on his face and kissed me on the cheek.

Shane:' that is.. perfect!' I smiled, I couldn't believe myself! Shane actually liked the words I wrote!


	9. Chapter 9

Then shane faced the rest of the class.

Shane:' okay people, who likes the words mitchie said?' at first they looked at each other then they all raised their hands! I was so happy! I couldn't believe myself!

Shane:' see? So today we'll sit together and finish this song!' I just replied by a smile. Caitlyn came and hugged me!

Caitlyn:' I am so proud of you!'

Me:' thanks Caitlyn!' then she left with barron, and the rest of the class were gradually dismissed. I caught shane staring at me, it made me feel special, a bit uncomfortable but still, special.

Me:' is there something wrong?' shane nodded in refuse.

Me:' then why are you staring at me like that?'

Shane:' because I can't help it!' I smiled while blushing. then shane brought two chairs for us to sit.

Me: I'd rather sit on the floor!' he giggled and then we both sat next to each other on the floor. Shane gave the paper on which his song was written.

Me:' it is beautiful shane!' he smiled at me.

Shane:' don't forget to put the words you said!'

Me:' what? You will actually use them?'

Shane:' of course! They are perfect mitchie! You don't give yourself enough credit!' I just smiled and wrote the words. We sat there for hours, singing, trying to find the words that would complete his beautiful song, time passed so fast! Suddenly I looked out the window and it was dark!

Me: 'wow! Time flies huh?'

Shane:' yeah! So what do you want to do now?' I yawned.

Shane:' well I guess I know the answer!' we both laughed.

Shane:' come on! I'll walk you to your room!' I nodded and he helped me stand up, then we walked together to my room. I looked up at the sky and saw how the stars were glowing!

Me in a whisper:' God! How beautiful!'

Shane:' the stars? Yeah.. here in camp you see the sky so clear! And the stars at night, lightening our dark, it sure is a beautiful sight!' I smiled, and nodded in agreement! We got to my room, and we were saying our goodnights when my phone rang, as usual it was my mum!

Me:' hey mum!'

Mum:' hey sweetie! How are you?'

Me:' I am great mum! How are you? And daddy?' my mum was silent for a while.

Me:' mum?'

Mum:' yeah honey, don't worry we are both fine!'

Me:' are you sure?'

Mum:' yeah.. so I just wanted to make sure you are fine! Goodnight sweetie! Love you.'

Me:' goodnight mum, love you too' then I hung up but I had a worried face.

Shane:' mitchie, is there something wrong?'

Me:' no, I don't know shane.. my mum.. she seems sad..'

Shane:' she probably just missed you!'

Me:' yeah.. you are probably right.' Then I smiled at him, and he smiled back. I leaned towards him and gave him a long tender kiss on his cheek. He smiled at me.

Shane:' goodnight mitchie.'

Me:' goodnight shane.' And I entered my room. I slept like a baby that night, I slept with a smile and woke up smiling, that was shane's effect on me.

When I woke up I brushed my teeth, and I wore blue jeans and a pink t-shirt a blue jacket, I put on the cap and headed to dance class. It was the same counselor as last time, he was a sweet guy, his name was Jacob.

Me:' hello mr. Jacob!'

Mr. Jacob:' hey mitchie! Glad you are the one who is helping me today!' I smiled. Then mr. brown came into the room.

Me:' hey mr. brown!'

Mr. brown:' ah mitchie! Just the person I needed to talk to! Come with me, you aren't helping Jacob today.'

Mr. Jacob:' oh.. well see you soon mitchie!' I laughed and waved goodbye and left with mr. brown.

Mr. brown:' today I need you to be a life guard! Marissa who was our life guard got food poisoning and she can't make it!'

Me:' what? But do you think I can do it?'

Mr. brown:' you can swim, right?' I nodded.

Mr. brown:' then you can do it!' I smiled an awkward smile because I was worried. Anyway I walked to my room, wore my swimming suit, it wasn't a bikini, I don't like bikinis! But it was a light blue swimming suit, and I brought my notebook with me and walked towards the lake. I sat on the life guard's chair and just enjoyed the view. As I was sitting there, I heard a voice coming from behind.

Voice:' hey! Miss assistant/ lifeguard!' I immediately knew it was shane, who else would call me assistant? I smiled and looked towards him.

Me:' hello mr. counselor/ rockstar!' he laughed.

Shane:' what brought you here?'

Me:' your uncle!' he laughed again then he climbed on the high chair and gave me a kiss, I smiled through it and so did he, then he pulled back.

Shane:' how about dinner tonight?'

Me:' oh.. I don't kn..' as I was talking I heard a scream! I looked back at the lake and saw a girl drowning! I ran and jumped into the lake and swam as fast as I could! I got the girl who was now unconscious , I swam back to shore which was now very crowded! I put her on her back and started pressing on her chest trying to make her spit the water she had swallowed and breathe again! I removed the hair which was covering her face to find the shock of my life.. it was Caitlyn!

Shane:' oh my God! It's Caitlyn!'

Me:' come on Caitlyn! Breathe Caitlyn breathe! Come on!' I was still pressing on her chest, I didn't realize I was crying until I saw tear drops falling on her face.. I kept pressing on her chest and then I turned her so that her face was to the floor, then I pressed on her stomach as hard as I could! That was when she coughed spitting out water, I turned her back and put her on the floor.

Me:' Caitlyn! Caitlyn come on say something!' she was gradually opening her eyes, then she looked at me in confusion as if trying to comprehend where she was and what happened.

Caitlyn:' mitchie..'

Me crying:' thank God!' then I gave her a tight hug. Shane then carried her and helped me take her to her room, he stayed outside until I changed her clothes and put her to bed, then I went outside too.

Shane:' how is she?' I just nodded.

Shane:' and you?' I looked up with tears in my eyes, I was surprised he even noticed I was upset, shane took a few steps towards me, put both his hands on my face.

Shane:' I know you are devastated.. seeing her that way must have been really hard..'

Me:' when I saw her.. passed out.. I remembered Ashley! Her lifeless body.. I was… I thought I'd lose her!' I was now crying.. hard! So shane grabbed me closer and hugged me tight whispering in my ears.

Shane:' don't worry.. she is fine now! You'll never lose her! Calm down mitchie.. everything is fine!'


	10. Chapter 10

Shane kept holding me for a while, then I pulled back and forced a smile.

Shane:' you okay?'

Me:' yeah..'

Shane leaned in and kissed my forehead.

Shane:' so I guess you are staying here tonight?' I nodded.

Shane:' get some sleep! And I'll see you tomorrow mitch!'

Me:' yeah, thank you.. shane..' he smiled at me then waved goodbye and left. I took a deep breath then walked into caitlyn's room again, she was still asleep, I gave her a tender kiss on the cheek then sat on the chair next to her and texted my mum.

Text:' hey mum, I miss you, mum I just wanted to say that I love you SO much!' a few minutes later she replied.

Reply:' oh I love you too sweetie! Sweet dreams!' then I closed my eyes and tried to go to sleep, I slowly did.

The next morning I woke up on caitlyn's cough! I opened my eyes and she was still asleep but she was coughing, I walked towards her, put my hand on her shoulder and shook her a bit.

Me:' Caitlyn.. sweetie.. are you okay?' she mumbled something I couldn't hear.

Me:' Caitlyn, come on, wake up honey!' she slightly opened her eyes and smiled when she saw me, I smiled back. Then I helped her sit up.

Caitlyn:' you stayed here all night?' I nodded with a smile.

Caitlyn:' where did you sleep?'

Me:' on that comfortable chair!' she giggled a bit.

Caitlyn:' I can't believe you went through all that because of me!'

Me:' I'd do anything for you silly! You are.. well you are my sister!' she knew how hard it was for me to say that since I lost one sister before, so she had teary eyes and she stood up and walked towards me and hugged me tight.

Caitlyn:' I love you so much mitchie!' I smiled.

Me:' me too!' then I pulled out and helped her get dressed and brushed her hair and she was ready to go, she walked with me to my room so that I'd change too, as we were walking I saw shane coming our way.

Shane:' hey mitchie! Hey Caitlyn!' he came and I gave him a kiss, then he hugged Caitlyn.

Shane to Caitlyn:' are you okay?'

Caitlyn:' yeah I guess! Thanks to you and mitchie!' I smiled and so did he.

Shane:' well I didn't do anything! Our little heroine here saved you!' I smiled again and then Caitlyn looked at me.

Caitlyn:' she has always been my heroine!' I giggled.

Me:' come on you guys! I was a life guard!' they laughed then shane helped me with Caitlyn until we got to my room, I went inside to change and Caitlyn sat with shane on the porch, I wore blue jeans and a green shirt with a yellow pattern. As I was walking out of the room I heard shane and Caitlyn talking, so I was a but curious!

Caitlyn:' shane, would you tell me what happened yesterday?'

Shane:' well Caitlyn, I was talking to mitchie asking her for dinner, thank you very much for ruining that!' she giggled and so did I but I hid it.

Shane:' then we heard a scream, at first we didn't know it was you, but mitchie jumped into the water and got you and swam back to shore, she tried many times to make you breathe, but it wasn't easy, but then you spitted the water and breathed again.. so.. yeah..'

Caitlyn: ' wow! So I wasn't even breathing?'

Shane:' no.. you weren't.. and that made it even harder for mitchie..' Caitlyn nodded.

Caitlyn:' shane.. she is a REALLY good person! Don't hurt her, okay?'

Shane:' I won't..' then they both smiled at each other. I cleared my throat to let them know I was coming, so they both looked at me with a smile.

Shane:' you look great!'

Me:' right! Because I am wearing all fancy huh?' I poked him and he laughed. Then we walked together to dance class again.

Me:' Caitlyn, are you sure you can do this?'

Caitlyn:' yes mitchie! I am fine!'

Me:' okay okay sorry!' she giggled. We got to class and everybody ran to Caitlyn to hug her and make sure she was fine, when I saw her smile I smiled too, she was really happy. Then all eyes turned to me!

Barron:' hey mitchie! I can't believe what you did yesterday! It was auhmazing!' I laughed. Then I saw Margaret coming my way, she smiled and hugged me, I hugged her back.

Margaret:' you inspire me mitchie!' I didn't know how to respond to that, I just smiled.

Me:' Margaret.. you are an amazing girl! And I'd be proud to be your friend Margaret! Don't you forget that!' she smiled and hugged me again. Then shane came and stood behind her, I smiled at him and he sent me an air kiss. After Margaret pulled back shane walked towards me, put his arm on my shoulder and pulled me close.

Shane:' what she said was true!'

Me:' eavesdrop and nosy.. hmmm.. what else?' he nudged me and I kissed him on the cheek! Then mr. Jacob came, he walked towards me.

Mr. Jacob:' I heard about what happened yesterday! It was very brave of you mitchie!'

Me:' it was nothing mr. Jacob, I was just the life guard!' he smiled then he walked towards Caitlyn to make sure she was okay.

Me:' okay shane, you can go now! We have a class!'

Shane:' so what? I am staying!' I just smiled at him and then I went to stand with mr. Jacob because that was my job!

Mr. Jacob:' okay mitchie! I need new dancers!'

Me:' okay, what should I do?'

Mr. Jacob:' find them?' I smiled in embarrassment, then I walked towards the students then I saw barron standing with a new kid, I looked at barron and he winked at me, so I told mr. Jacob about that boy.

Mr. Jacob:' hey kid! What's your name?'

The kid:' I am.. sander?'


	11. Chapter 11

Mr. jacob:' well sander, show me some moves!'

Sander:' okay I guess!' then I turn on the radio and never say never by Justin bieber was playing, so sander danced a bit, and made a few steps then mr. Jacob signaled to me to stop the music, I turned off the radio and I had a shocked expression on my face.

Mr. Jacob:' wow!'

Me:' yeah right… wow!' sander laughed a little bit.

Shane:' dude you are amazing!'

Sander:' well thank you very much!' we all giggled.

Mr. Jacob:' well sander, barron and Caitlyn, I want the 3 of you to help me teach another class!' Caitlyn mouth dropped to the floor and I laughed at her sight and so did shane!

Barron:' alright man! Yeah!'

Caitlyn after pulling herself together:' well.. I think it's fine with me too!'

Me:' really? Fine with you?' she giggled and I gave her a hug.

It has been 2 weeks at camp, and 2 more weeks to go, shane and I spent most of our time together, we talked, we laughed, we just felt happy around each other. Then one day I found an unknown number calling me.

Me:' hello?'

Unknown:' mitchie?'

Me:' who is this?'

Unknown:' I am shane's manager.'

Me:' oh okay, how are you?'

Manager:' I am okay, but we need to talk!'

Me:' me and you?'

Manager:' aha, tonight, at the cafeteria?'

Me:' okay I guess.. see you there!' then I hung up. I didn't know whether I should tell shane or not, but I decided to get more details first. I went to meet him at the cafeteria as planned, we sat infront of each other on a table.

Manager:' how are you mitchie?'

Me:' I am a bit anxious to tell you the truth!' he smiled then he gave me a serious look.

Manager:' well I need to talk to you about something very serious, but I know you'll make the right choice!'

Me:' choice? Okay can you please tell me what is it?'

Manager:' mitchie, you are dating shane, and I know you must be happy together..' I smiled.

Manager:' but mitchie, what you don't know, is that it isn't helping shane's career!'

Me:' excuse me?'

Manager:' he is losing fans! And fans won't accept the fact that he has a girlfriend! Especially when she is.. well.. not famous! It would be just bad publicity for him!'

Me:' okay so what do you want me to do?'

Manager:' end it..'

Me:' what?'

Manager:' you know how important his music is to him mitchie! Do you really want to be the reason why his dreams fall apart? Do you want to make him miserable?'

Me:' miserable? Being with me.. makes him miserable?'

Manager:' not being with you.. but being without his fans..' my eyes filled up with tears.

Me:' well why don't you tell him to end it? Why are you asking me?'

Manager:' well because shane would never hurt you… so he wouldn't tell you any of this!'

Me:' okay.. I understood what you are saying.. but I think I am going to go now..'

Manager:' so you'll do it!'

Me:' would you just leave me alone? I need to think! Gosh!' then I ran out of the cafeteria! I kept running with tears in my eyes, until I got to my room, I fell on my bed, and cried my eyes out, I loved shane, so much, but I love him to the extent that I have to let him go! But how? How? I cried myself to sleep that night. I woke up the next morning with a headache and swollen eyes, I brushed my teeth and got dressed, I wore a black dress and a red jacket, and I wore red flip flops, I put on the cap and took a deep breath and walked out of my room. I had singing class, which meant I was assisting shane, I walked to class and waited for him infront of the door, shane saw me and smiled, I couldn't smile back, shane came and sat next to me on the stairs.

Shane:' what is wrong baby?'

Me:' shane.. I need to talk to you..'

Shane:' okay..'

Me:' shane.. you know I love you..' he smiled.

Me:' shane.. I am breaking up with you..'

Shane:' what? Why?'

Me:' I just… I can't really explain now.. but shane.. I .. I am sorry!' then I stood up and walked away, but he grabbed my arm.

Shane:' you atleast owe me an explanation!'

Me:' shane I told you! I can't explain!'

Shane:' you love me?'

Me:' shane.. just..'

Shane:' do you?'

Me:' shane, I won't answer that question! I just.. I have to go now.. shane.. if you need a friend.. I'll be there' then I put both my hands on his face.

Me in a whisper:' take care.. ' then I gave him a kiss on the cheek and ran to my room, I knew he was watching me, I could feel it, God I wish I didn't have to do this! I loved him! And I .. I broke my heart to protect him!

When I got to my room, I laid on the bed and started to cry again, then I heard a knock on the door, I ignored it, then I heard caitlyn's voice.

Caitlyn:' mitchie it's me! Open up!' I ran to the door, opened it, and threw myself in caitlyn's arms! I was crying hysterically! I was in so much pain.. then caitlyn took me into the room, brought me a glass of water, and she sat next to me on bed.

Caitlyn:' what happened?'

Me:' how do you know anything happened?'

Caitlyn:' well I saw you talking to shane, then running to your room crying, and shane watching you then he got into class, apologized and left with tears in his eyes..'

Me:' he was crying?' Caitlyn nodded, which made me cry harder, Caitlyn patted on my back and hugged me. I told her what happened with the manager.

Caitlyn: 'mitchie you should have told him..'

Me:' I couldn't Caitlyn… he wouldn't have let me!'

Caitlyn:' and this is better?'

Me:' Caitlyn.. it is hard for now.. but.. but.. it's better for shane's career! He loves music more than anything! I couldn't stay and watch him throwing it away for me.. I just.. couldn't!' Caitlyn hugged me.

Caitlyn:' I am very proud of you.. you know that?' I nodded, then she hugged me while I cried some more.


	12. Chapter 12

A while later I was starting to calm down, Caitlyn was still holding me, I wiped away the few tears left, then I looked at Caitlyn who gave me a warm smile, I forced a little smile too.

Caitlyn:' so what now?'

Me:' I don't know.. I thought about leaving camp but that way I would never see him again.. and I am not ready for that yet.. so I guess I will love him from a distance..'

Caitlyn:' oh honey.. I hope everything turns out just fine..'

Me:' yeah me too..' then I walk to the bathroom to wash your face, I stay in my room the rest of the day, and Caitlyn stays with me,I watch a bit of TV and Caitlyn tries to make me eat but I just don't feel like it. Now it is getting dark, and Caitlyn had to go back to her room, she kissed me goodnight and left. I laid on my bed, closed my eyes trying to sleep, but ended up thinking about shane and tears falling from my eyes, I miss him, I just wish he knew that I'll always love him.. that night I didn't get any sleep, I cried the whole night, and wrote for a while just trying to let it out, I was so hurt, and broken hearted, I just hoped he was doing better than me. I sat on my bed and suddenly I saw the sun rise, it's weird how time flies when you drift away to another world! I brushed my teeth and got dressed, I wore a green t-shirt that said 'I am a rock star!' and my blue jeans, I wore green because it reminded me of him, then I put on my cap and left my room. Caitlyn saw me so she came, gave me a hug, I hugged back.

Caitlyn:' you didn't sleep, huh?'

Me:' what! Why are you saying so?'

Caitlyn:' because I can see through your make up! Your eyes are swollen mitchie!' I looked down.

Caitlyn:' just take care of yourself.. ok? For me!' I nodded, then we walked together to a new class, drumming class, I walked inside, introduced myself and saw the counselor, fortunately it wasn't shane, but unfortunately it was nate, shane's younger brother! I shook his hand and he smiled a little at me, then he introduced himself to the class, it was a fun class because it was so new to me! And nate was so passionate when it comes to music, just like his brother.. I ached whenever I remembered how shane believed in me, now I was back to the start line, alone.. without even realizing a tear escaped my eye, nate was staring at me.

Nate:' mitchie, are you okay?'

Me:' what? Yeah.. I am!'

Nate:' but you are crying!'

Me:' no nate.. trust me.. I am fine!' he dismissed the class, and as I was leaving he signaled to me to sit next to him, he was smiling at me but I had teary eyes so I was too busy fighting those tears to smile back.

Nate:' so mitchie, you won't tell me what's wrong?' I wiped away my tears and forced a smile.

Me:' nothing nate.. I am fine..' he put his finger under my chin and pushed it upwards to face him.

Nate:' mitchie? Come on! Tell me..'

Me:' nate.. can I ask you a question?' nate nodded.

Me:' how is… how is shane?' nate smiled.

Nate:' he is.. trying to cope mitchie.. but he is confused! Why did you break up with him mitchie?'

Me:' nate.. I REALLY can't talk about it.. just.. do you trust me?' he nodded again.

Me:' then know that I wouldn't have broken up with him if it wasn't for his own good.. nate.. I am hurting as much as he is.. if not more..' nate hugged me tight.

Nate:' okay mitchie.. just think about talking to him.. help him understand!' I nodded, but deep down, I knew I couldn't tell him. Then I walked to my room, Caitlyn was waiting infront of my room, she hugged me.

Caitlyn:' so what happened with nate?' I told her what we talked about.

Caitlyn:' I think he is right.. you should talk to him..'

Me:' Caitlyn! I told you before!'

Caitlyn:' but mitchie.. it is his right! Okay.. if you were in his place.. would you accept the fact that he breaks up with you without telling you why?' I sighed, because I knew she was right.

Me:' Caitlyn, I have an idea..' then I talked to her for a while about my plan, then we headed to mr. brown's office and asked him for permission, he gave it to us!

That night I was getting dressed in my room, I wore a pink dress with black heels and you curled your hair and put a little bit of makeup, you walked out of your room and headed towards the lake.

Caitlyn to shane:' shane come with me quickly!'

Shane:' Caitlyn I am not in the mood, I want to sleep!'

Caitlyn:' shane.. it is something important! Come on!' then she pulled him after her to where the whole camp was, at the lake. Shane saw lights, sound system, and a stage, he wasn't sure what was happening! Then he saw me going up the stage..

Me:' ummm… well… it is the first time for me.. on a stage.. so.. it isn't easy.. I just came here for a really special person to me.. only for him did I face my worst fear and came up on the stage.. I just.. I need to explain..' then I turned to the band and whispered something to them, nate and Jason were with me on stage too, I was shaking, I opened my mouth and no words came out, I looked at nate who smiled at me and nodded, then I saw cailyn, who gave me her warm smile that always gave me strength, then I looked at shane, I missed him! I took a deep breath, and closed my eyes.

Me:' I know you don't understand..

I know.. you feel confused..

But I had to choose..

I .. never meant to break your heart..

Never wanted us to be.. apart

But now we took our separate ways

But I'll never forget your gaze

I'll never forget

And I don't regret!

So everytime I look up at the sky

And see our star shining in the night

I'll remember you.. you pulled me through

And I'll make another wish upon it

I just want you to know..

That.. I'll always love you

But you have to go your own way

And I can never stay

I never meant to let you go..

I never meant to put out your glow..

And.. I am sorry.. if I broke your heart

But in my heart.. there will always be your part

Just keep on singing

Just keep on believing!

And try to remember

Your smile so tender

I'll never forget

And I don't regret

So get ready.. get set

Now.. go..

Now… go..' when I finished the song I was almost crying, so I looked at shane who also had teary eyes, then I ran off the stage and Caitlyn caught me and took me to my room.


	13. Chapter 13

I was crying the whole way back to my room, and Caitlyn was holding me and patting on my back, when we got to my room Caitlyn sat next to me on bed and hugged me tight.

Caitlyn:' I know that it hurt you so much.. but mitchie.. you did the right thing! You are so strong mitchie..'

Me:' I .. all I wanted to do.. was.. run to his arms! I love him Caitlyn!' and I cried even harder.

Caitlyn:' hush.. I know mitchie I know.. just.. think that he'd be happy.. to finally know you love him..' I nodded. A while later I wiped away my tears, washed my face and sat next to Caitlyn who smiled at me.

Me:' Caitlyn, I think I need to be alone tonight..'

Caitlyn:' are you sure?'

Me:' yeah..' she kissed me on the cheek, hugged me and left to her room. I just sat on my bed, staring at the sky through the window, trying to hold back the tears, then my phone rang, it was my dad's number.

Me:' hey daddy..'

Mum:' it's me mitchie..'

Me:' mum why are you calling from dad's phone?' she took a deep breath and answered my question, when I heard her answer, I slowly sat back on my bed, and I dropped the phone on the ground. I sat like that for hours, then I ran to mr. brown's office, I talked to him for a while then he hugged me and I went back to my room.

The next day, I was supposed to go to singing class, but I didn't show up. Shane went to class and didn't find me, he asked himself where I could be, then mr. brown came into the class to answer his question.

Mr. brown:' hello class!' he had a serious sad look on his face.

Class:' hello mr. brown'

Mr. brown:' guys I need to tell you something.. mitchie is no longer working with us here..' he was interrupted by the whole class wondering what? Why?

Mr. brown:' guys please let me finish! She came to my office last night and she quitted.. she.. as much as she wanted to stay.. something back at home was happening and she needed to be there!'

Shane:' what thing?' mr. brown took a deep breath.

Mr. brown:' last night she got a call from her mother.. apparently.. her father has lung cancer.. he had it for quite a while.. but they never told her.. until he was rushed to the hospital yesterday morning when his heart failed.. and now.. the doctors don't know if he can make it!' Caitlyn gasped putting her hand on her mouth and crying, barron hugged her, and shane.. shane was pretty shaken up!

He ran out of the class, mr. brown tried to stop him but couldn't, when mr. brown finished what he was saying, he left the class trying to comprehend what was happening. Shane went to his room and brought out his bag and started packing, then someone knocked on his door, it was nate and Jason.

Nate:' shane, uncle brown told us what happened.. I am so sorry man..' shane didn't answer.

Jason:' what are you doing?'

Shane:' packing.'

Jason:' I can see that! But where are you going?'

Shane:' in your opinion, where would I go? I am going to see mitchie!'

Nate:' what? You can't just leave camp! David (his manager) won't be very happy!'

Shane:' I DON'T CARE!' he was yelling. So nate put his hand on shane's shoulder trying to calm him down.

Shane:' nate.. her sister died because of cancer.. she.. she was her best friend! She must be in so much pain now..'

Nate:' I didn't know that.. okay shane.. go to her.. and Jason and I will cover up for you!' shane nodded. When he was done packing, Jason and nate hugged him and walked him to his car, as he was walking he found Caitlyn standing with a bag in her hand, he walked towards her.

Shane:' you are leaving too?' Caitlyn nodded because she was still crying.

Shane:' I know about Ashley Caitlyn..'

Caitlyn:' I know you do.. shane she will really need us!'

Shane:' I know.. and I'll be there.. even after what she had done to me..'

Caitlyn:' for you..'

Shane:' huh?'

Caitlyn:' even after what she had done for you..'

Shane:' I don't understand! She broke up with me! That wasn't for me!'

Caitlyn:' you have NO idea what you are talking about..' Caitlyn wasn't facing shane.

Shane:' what do you mean?'

Caitlyn:' just forget it shane! I am waiting for the bus then I'll be gone!'

Shane:' Caitlyn, come with me. We are both going to the same place anyway!'

Caitlyn:' no thank you..'

Shane:' Caitlyn come on! Please!' she looked at him and he forced a smile, she smiled back then walked with him to the car, Jason and nate were still there. Shane put his bag and caitlyn's at the back and he got into the car, after hugging Jason and nate again, she sat next to him at the front, she were looking infront of her, she tried calling me many times but I didn't pick up, which worried her even more!

Caitlyn:' damn it mitchie! Pick up!' shane had a worried look on his face. Then his phone rang, he looked to see the caller's name, it was david.

Shane:' hello..'

David:' hello? Where the hell did you go shane?'

Shane:' I had something to do, I don't even know when I'll be back!'

David:' what? You can't do that!'

Shane yelling:' yes I can! And I did!' then he hung up.

Caitlyn whispered:' jerk!'

Shane:' what?'

Caitlyn:' nothing.. I just really hate your manager!'

Shane:' why?'

Caitlyn:' I just do..'

Shane:' fine!' then his phone rang again.

Shane:' UGH!' then he picked up.

Shane:' what? David I am not coming back!'

David:' shane you'll throw away all your popularity for a girl?'

Shane:' she is NOT just a girl!'

David:' fine! But you can't do this! Come back shane!'

Shane:' I won't david!'

David:' all what I've done to break you two apart for nothing! Damn it!'

Shane:' WHAT? What did you do to break us apart!' when Caitlyn heard that her eyes widened.

David:' ask your girl shane!' then he hung up. Caitlyn saw how mad shane was.

Shane:' do you know about this?'

Caitlyn:' this what?'

Shane:' whatever david did to break me and mitchie apart!'

Caitlyn:' hmmm.. yeah shane.. I did..'

Shane:' God! What did he do?'


	14. Chapter 14

Caitlyn:' he is the one who asked mitchie to break up with you!' shane's eyes widened.

Shane:' wh.. what? How? When?'

Caitlyn:' remember the day she broke up with you?' shane nodded.

Caitlyn:' the night before it, he called her and asked her to meet him at the cafeteria, she did, he told her that you guys dating will ruin your future, and that you are losing fans because of it, then he told her that if you keep dating she'll be making you miserable! And she couldn't bare the fact that if you keep dating she'll be making you throw away the most important thing to you.. your music!' Caitlyn saw that shane had teary eyes, he was so hurt.

Caitlyn:' shane.. she loves you.. so much! The day she broke up with you she cried the whole day, and she didn't get ANY sleep! She hasn't eaten for 3 days now! She loves you.. shane.. she'd never break your heart!' shane nodded.

It was silent for a while, then caitlyn's phone rang, it was barron.

Caitlyn:' hey..'

Barron:' are you on the bus?'

Caitlyn:' no I am with shane, he was going there too so he is driving me there.'

Barron:' okay.. when you see mitchie call us and let us know how she is doing!'

Caitlyn:' okay barron.. I will..' then she hung up. Shane was still silent, then his phone rang, it was nate.

Shane:' hey..'

Nate:' shane, are you guys there yet?'

Shane:' no man.. we are on the way.. by the way, did you see david?'

Nate:' yeah.. he was very mad though!'

Shane:' okay nate, I need you to call the lawyer and find a way to fire david.'

Nate:' what? Why?'

Shane:' nate it's a long story! Short version, he asked mitchie to break up with me!'

Nate:' what? NO WAY!'

Shane:' yeah it's true, Caitlyn told me, and he said that he worked on breaking us apart, so just do it for me, okay?'

Nate:' sure man..' then he hung up.

Shane:' thank you.. for telling me..'

Caitlyn:' I would have told you earlier, but mitchie was afraid you wouldn't let her do it, so she asked me to keep the secret..'

Shane:' she was right.. I wouldn't have let her..' an hour later Caitlyn and shane arrived at the hospital, Caitlyn took a deep breath and walked inside, and shane right behind her, shane asked the secretary about the room where my father was, and she told him he was in the ICU, Caitlyn and shane took the elevator and got to the floor, they walked through hallways until they saw me sitting on the chair with my head in my hands.

Shane looked at me with tears in his eyes, and so did Caitlyn, then I looked their way and saw them, I ran towards shane and threw myself in his arms, he held me so tight, I was crying hard.

A while later I sat on a chair, shane on my left side holding my hand, and Caitlyn on my right side patting my back.

Shane:' so mitchie.. what happened?' I was looking down.

Me:' my mum.. called me from my dad's number.. when I picked up.. she was crying.. then she said.. she said that my dad was rushed to the hospital.. his heart stopped! And then she said he had cancer, for over a month, but they never told me! He.. he is in the ICU.. not breathing on his own..' then I started crying hard again, so shane put my head on his shoulder and tried calming me down, Caitlyn had tears in her eyes too, but she tried to push them away.

Then the doctor came and I stood up immediately when I saw him.

Me:' doctor, how is her?'

Doctor:' mitchie.. you know how cancer is.. he has stage 4 lung cancer.. it is.. advanced.. it will take time.. and A LOT of effort.. mitchie, you just have to be patient..' I nodded but I was gradually falling to my knees, shane caught me.

Shane:' mitchie! Mitchie come on!' then he put me on the chair and brought me a cup of water, I wasn't crying, but I was shaking, shane hugged me for a while.

Me:' he.. he is going to die.. he will leave me! I can't.. I can't do this! Not again!' then I stood up and started running, shane ran after me, he kept calling my name, but I didn't answer. I ran out of the hospital, and the tears in my eyes were making my sight really blurry. Then as I was running in the street a car almost hit me! Shane ran to me and held me and pulled me out of the way.

Shane:' mitchie are you okay?' I was very shaken up, so he just hugged me and helped me walk back to the hospital, i stood infront of the door on the hospital, I didn't want to go inside, I couldn't see him like that, not him too.

Shane:' mitchie.. I know it's hard.. but you have to stay strong..' I nodded.

Me:' I have to.. I have to stay strong.. I'll be there for him.. so that if he.. if he.. I would have no regrets!' shane hugged me and we walked inside together.


	15. Chapter 15

We walked until we returned back to where my dad's room was, I saw my mum talking to caitlyn while crying.

Me:' mum please don't cry.. everything is going to be okay!'

Mum:' how do you know mitchie? We said the same thing when Ashley was sick! But now.. now she is gone!' I sat next to her and hugged her tight.

Me:' you are right.. maybe I don't know.. but I DO know that daddy is strong.. and that we have to be stronger than ever now to help him mum.. I just hope he will be okay.. but if we are weak he won't!' my mum nodded, I held her while she cried some more, then the doctor came.

Doctor:' we are starting chemo- therapy today, then radiation, we don't know if he is strong enough to bare that, so it's your choice, do you want treatment, or…?' mum looked at me with tears in her eyes, she looked confused, helpless, and broken hearted.

Me:' I think we have to try.. so I'd say yes to treatment.' My mum was still looking at me, but she didn't say a word, I helped her sit on a chair, I was getting really worried.

Me:' mum, mum talk to me!' she still didn't answer. I looked at shane, he came and sat on her other side.

Shane:' mrs. Connie, I know you are feeling so much pain right now, but.. your husband and daughter need you, and they are there for you no matter what! Mitchie.. she loves you more than anything! You can't leave her to face that alone, right?' my mum nodded, I closed my eyes and let a tear fall on my face.

My mum in a whisper:' you'll never leave me?' I started crying and I hugged her tight.

Me:' never mum! Never!'

Mum:' we have to let him take the treatment, right?'

Me:' yeah..'

Mum:' okay.. okay.. lets tell the doctor..' we both stood up with her hand in mine, and we walked towards the doctor's office, shane was right behind us. When we got there my mum took a deep breath and we knocked on the door, then we went inside and we sat down.

Mum:' okay doctor, we'll take the treatment..'

Doctor:' are you sure?' my mum looked at me, I forced a smile and nodded.

Mum:' yeah..' the doctor smiled.

Doctor:' okay, we'll start tomorrow.' I nodded then I took my mum's hand and we walked out together.

Shane:' okay, I'll drive you guys home.'

Mum:' I am not going anywhere! Take mitchie home.'

Me:' of course not! I can't leave you both alone!'

Shane:' well you both need to rest! Besides, you won't see him today, so it's better if you go home and rest and then help him tomorrow.' My mum looked down thinking. I put my hand on her shoulder.

Me:' mum, let shane drive you home, and I'll stay here tonight..'

Mum:' no way!'

Me:' mum you have been helping him since you found out one month ago! I just knew today! I NEED to be with him! Please?' my mum sighed and nodded. I hugged her.

Me to shane:' okay shane, drive her home and I'll see you tomorrow.'

Shane:' you'll see me after I drive her home! I am coming back!'

Me:' what? Why?'

Shane:' because just like you NEED to be with him, I NEED to be with you..' I smiled and nodded.

Me:' okay, but take Caitlyn with you too.'

Caitlyn:' no mitchie, I am staying!'

Me:' Caitlyn, I'll need you more tomorrow, and shane is staying tonight, so he'll go home tomorrow and you can come then. Ok?'

Caitlyn:' okay, but if you need anything call me!' I hugged her.

Me:' thank you..' she smiled at me and they all walked away. I sat on a chair and sighed. I really wanted to see my dad! I stood up again and looked through glass of his room, I saw all the tubes and machines attached to him, he looked like he was in so much pain! That broke my heart.. I just stood there staring at him, then I slowly fell infront of his room, my eyes still on him, and I closed my eyes hoping that I'd wake up from this bad dream, but when I opened them again he was still the same.. I just stayed infront of his room for a long time, don't know if it was minutes or hours, but it seemed like ages.

Shane came back after driving them home, he found me infront of my dad's room, sleeping, he carried me bridal style and put me back on the chairs of the waiting room with my head on his lap, after he made sure I was okay, he closed his eyes and drifted to sleep. I was having a nightmare, about my dad, and Ashley, it was horrible! I was crying in my sleep, yelling, and I couldn't breathe! Shane kept shaking me to wake me up, but I didn't, then he brought some water, and sprinkled a few drops on my face until I started slowly waking up, for a while I just sat there trying to differentiate between that nightmare and reality.

Shane:' mitchie, are you okay?' I didn't answer, he shook me again, I stared into his eyes, without saying a word, but shane saw great fear and pain in my eyes, so he hugged me tight.

Shane:' you are with me mitchie.. you are safe.. don't be so scared..' I hugged him back. Then he pulled back and stared into my eyes.

Shane:' what happened mitchie?'

Me:' I want to see my dad..' then I stood up and walked towards dad's room and shane walked behind me confused and worried, I looked through glass and saw him just like last night, I put my hand on the glass as if reaching out for him.

Me in a whisper:' don't leave me..' then I looked down, shane hugged me from behind and then he took me to sit on the chair right infront of the room.

Shane:' mitchie, don't do this to me please.. talk to me..'


	16. Chapter 16

I looked into his eyes and he saw tears escaping from my eyes, he wiped them away.

Me:' I had.. a really bad dream shane..'

Shane:' I know… what was it about?'

Me:' about my dad… and Ashley.. I dreamt that I lost my dad… and I saw how much Ashley suffered when she was ill.. some sort of flashbacks.. I don't know how to explain it shane.. but I relived all the pain I felt.. but twice as hard! Once for Ashley and the other for my dad.. it was awful..' at that point I was crying so shane leaned towards me and gave me a kiss, I kissed back, then he hugged me.

Shane:' I am SO sorry you had to go through that.. but mitchie.. I'm here for you.. and your dad is strong! He'll get through that.. just try to be strong baby.. I love you..' I pulled back and stared into his eyes, I couldn't believe he said he loved me!

Me:' I love you too shane..' he smiled at me. Then I saw my mum coming from a distant, I ran to her and hugged her tight.

Mum:' hey honey! Is there something wrong?'

Me:' no mum.. I just missed you!' she smiled at me then we walked together towards my dad's room, my mum looked through the glass and started talking to my dad, I sat on the chair and gave her her space, shane sat next to me and took my hand and held it tight. I smiled at him. Then I saw some people coming towards us, I stood up and saw that they were nate, Jason, barron, sander and Margaret! My mouth dropped and I looked at shane and he seemed surprised too. They all ran towards me and gave me a group hug!

Me:' oh my God guys! What are you doing here?'

Barron:' we knew that our girl needs us! So here we are!' I just smiled at them. Nate hugged me.

Nate:' so how are you doing?'

Me:' oh well.. I am hanging in there!'

Nate:' we are all here for you mitchie!' I smiled.

Me:' thank you guys.. so much!' nate smiled at me. Then Margaret came and hugged me tight, I hugged her back.

Me:' so how did you guys come here?' a voice from the back ground replied.

Voice:' that would be me!' then I saw it was mr. brown. I smiled at him.

Mr. brown:' how are you mitchie?'

Me:' surprised!' they all laughed.

Me:' I can't believe you all left camp and came here!'

Mr. brown:' you helped us a lot mitchie, and we couldn't be there without our assistant!' I smiled and then mr. brown hugged me. Then my mum realized we had company so she wiped away her tears and walked towards us.

Mum:' WOW! What a large crowd?' we giggled.

Me:' I am just as surprised as you are! They came all the way from camp mum!' she smiled at me. I introduced them all to her, she hugged them all. Then the doctor came.

Doctor:' we'll start now with the chemo, we'll check his status every 30 minutes to make sure he is stable, we'll keep you updated' my mum nodded, then shane put his hand on my shoulder and I held it tight. We all sat in the waiting room, my mum was walking back and forth and I was sitting holding shane's hand, Margaret was sitting next to me, and the others were there too, Caitlyn came a while later, she hugged me and my mum then she sat next to barron, she was surprised when she saw them all too!

Every 30 minutes we would go to the doctor to check on my dad, and the doctor would say that he was weak but hanging in there. Sometimes my mum would start crying remembering Ashley and I would hug her tight. 3 hours later the doctor came into the waiting room.

Doctor:' well, we finished the first dosage of chemo-therapy, his heart didn't fail which is a good sign, but the cancer is advanced, and it's position is very serious, so any mistake could kill him, since the cancer is in the lungs so he won't be able to breathe on his own for a while.. we'll give him the second dosage on chemo in a week' my mum turned to me with tears in her eyes.

Mum:' I miss him..' suddenly I found her staggering so I ran towards her and so did shane and the rest of the guys, she fell on the ground unconscious!

Me:' mum wake up! Mum please don't do this to me!' mr. brown carried her and ran to the ER and the doctor examined her and then they moved her to a room.

Doctor:' your mum's blood pressure is not stable at all, she needs rest, and she shouldn't be upset or stressed at all!' then he left. Shane hugged me tight.

Me:' how am I supposed to take care of her and my dad at the same time? I don't know what to do anymore shane!'

Shane:' hush.. calm down mitchie.. you aren't alone.. I am with you.. and nate, Jason, Caitlyn, Margaret, uncle brown, barron and sander! We will all take care of you and your parents! Don't be scared..' I cried in his arms for a while, then we walked back to the waiting room.

Caitlyn:' what did the doctor say?'

Shane:' her blood pressure wasn't stable, she needs rest, and she HAS to relax!' Caitlyn walked towards me and hugged me.

Mr. brown:' okay we need a schedule to know who is staying here and when..'

Me:' guys, you have your own lives, you don't have to do that..'

Nate:' come on mitchie! We want to!' I forced a smile.

Mr. brown:' okay so we need 2 persons here every day at night! And all day we can all come except those who stayed at night!'

Shane:' I'll stay everyday..'

Me:' shane come on! No you aren't!'

Shane:' yes I will!'

Me:' you will go home tonight, rest, and then if you want, you can come tomorrow!'

Shane:' and leave you here alone? No way!'

Me:' shane.. please.. go home tonight!' he sighed.

Shane:' but only if someone stayed with you!'

Nate:' I will..'

Caitlyn:' me too! I went home yesterday so I am good!'

Me:' thank you guys.. all of you!' they smiled at me. I hugged them all then I kissed shane and they all left. I stayed with Caitlyn and nate in the waiting room, we moved back and forth between my parents' rooms and the waiting room, it was a tiring night!


	17. Chapter 17

The next morning I was sleeping in the waiting room with nate and Caitlyn, when suddenly I heard people running, I was rubbing my eyes, then I saw that they were running to my father's room! I ran after them but they stopped me before I could enter the room, I was looking through the glass when I saw them bringing the electric shocker, the doctor rubbed them together, then he yelled : CLEAR! Then he used the shocker on my dad, I gasped when I saw that, I put my hand on my mouth and let tears fall on my face, then I slowly fell to the ground on my knees. I felt nate running towards me and helping me stand, but I was shaking hard, nate made me sit on the chair and he ran and called Caitlyn, she came running and sat next to me, they tried hugging me but I was still shaking.. hard. So nate called shane.

Nate:' shane..'

Shane:' hey nate! How are things in the hospital?'

Nate:' you better come quick shane.. mitchie really needs you!'

Shane:' I am coming right away!' 15 minutes later he was running through the hallways until he saw us, the doctors were still with my dad, and nate and Caitlyn were talking to me in an attempt to calm me down. Shane bent on his knees infront of me and held my eyes.

Shane:' mitchie.. baby.. talk to me.. come on..' I didn't answer, I was shaking looking down.

Shane:' mitchie! Mitchie please answer me! Honey, your dad is going to be okay, trust me' at that point I looked into his eyes for a second, but that look he'd never forget, my eyes were full on fear and grief and pain, and that hurt him. So shane sat next to me and nate went to the room to see if there was any changes, there wasn't.

Shane:' mitchie, you told me that you had to be strong for you dad, remember? Come on then! Fight this! Be as strong as I know you are mitch!' I was hearing his voice, but all I could think of is how my dad's body went up and down when they shocked him, how he seemed so hurt and weak, how lifeless his body was.. then the doctor came out.

Doctor:' mitchie?' I didn't answer, so he looked at shane.

Doctor:' her father's heart stopped, we shocked him 5 times, until it started beating again, his condition is not improving and we don't know if he can take another dosage of chemo-therapy, I think we'll have to go to surgery, and lung transplant.. I am really sorry mitchie..' then he walked away, but suddenly I stood up, faced the doctor.

Me:' lung transplant? You are putting another person's lungs in MY dad's body!' the doctor turned around to face me again.

Doctor:' mitchie.. he won't survive another dosage! We have to.. or he will..'

Me:' die?' the doctor nodded with a sigh.

Me:' either he lives with another person's lung.. or he dies? WOW! Okay… okay… what should I do?'

Doctor:' mitchie, I can't tell you what you should do..'

Me:' but someone should! I am 18 years old! And now I have to decide whether I should kill my dad now or a bit later? And I have to tell my mum that everything is okay when it is living hell? How? How can I do that? How?..' at that point I was crying hysterically while falling to the ground, shane caught me and held me tight.

Shane:' come with me..' then he carried me and I clinged to his neck, we walked out of the hospital, shane was still carrying me, then we went to the grave yards. Shane made me sit on the ground next to someone's grave, there was a name, Elizabeth gray.

Shane:' this is my grandma's grave mitchie.. she passed away when I was 15.. that's about 3 years ago.. she died in a car accident.. right infront of me..' I put my hand on his face and wiped away the tear that fell.

Me:' how shane?'

Shane:' well, she was driving me to my soccer game, she was very happy and she kept telling me how proud she was, then she turned around to smile at me, just for 1 second, 1 second mitchie! That was when a drunk driver hit us, the car rolled in the air for 5 times, then the car was on fire, my grandma pushed me out of the car, and she looked at me and smiled and said "I love you shane.. dream.." then.. the car.. exploded.. and she was.. dead' I saw grief in shane's eyes like no other, so I threw myself in his arms and hugged him tight.

Me:' I am sorry.. '

Shane:' mitchie, if I had a choice, to keep her alive for 5 minutes, I would have taken it!'

Me:' you are right.. thank you shane..' then he gave me a kiss, and we both walked to the hospital, then my phone rang, it was mr. brown.

Mr. brown:' hey mitchie! How are you?'

Me:' I am.. okay mr. brown'

Mr. brown:' well Jason and I are coming now, do you need anything?'

Me:' no mr. brown, thank you'

Mr. brown:' don't mention it' then he hung up. But then shane found me smiling.

Shane:' mitchie.. what made you so happy?'

Me:' my ringtone.. it was ashley's favourite song.. keep holding on by avril lavigne.' Shane smiled at me and we both walked into the hospital holding hands.


	18. Chapter 18

Me:' shane I will go see my mum first'

Shane:' okay, do you need me to come with you?'

Me:' no.. I think I need to talk to her by myself..' shane kissed me and then he left. I took a deep breath and walked into my mum's room, she was asleep, I sat next to her, too her hand and kissed it.

Me:' God I miss you mum!' then I felt her waking up, I quickly drew a smile on my face.

Me:' hey mum!'

Mum:' hey honey.. what happened?'

Me:' well mum, you didn't take care of yourself! Do I have to do everything over here?' she giggled and I smiled because I managed to put a smile on her face.

Mum:' honey.. how is your father?' I took a deep breath and put a fake smile.

Me:' he is better mum..'

Mum:' really?' I nodded and she smiled. We talked for a while, then the nurse came to give her medicines, after she took them she felt sleepy, so I felt after I made sure she went to sleep. I walked back to my dad's room, when shane saw me he flashed a smile, I sat next to him and he hugged me.

Shane:' so how is your mother?'

Me:' I guess she is okay.. I had to tell her that my dad is better.. it was.. hard..'

Shane:' I am sorry baby.. but it is for her own good..' I nodded. Caitlyn came and sat with me, she gave me a hug, then my phone rang.

Me:' hello?'

Caller:' hey mitch!'

Me:' hey, who is this?'

Caller:' how could you not know who has this beautiful voice?'

Me:' oh.. tess..'

Tess:' good girl! I heard about your father, I am sowwy!'

Me:' thanks tess..'

Tess:' well, how is shane?'

Me:' you are calling to ask about shane?'

Tess:' no.. I just miss him!'

Me:' tess, I really don't need this now. If you miss shane that much call him! Just.. go away tess!' then I hung up.

Shane:' was that tess?'

Me:' yeah.. you should call her shane! She misses you!'

Shane:' what? What are you talking about?'

Me:' she said she was "sowwy" about my father then she asked about you and said she misses you!'

Shane:' WOW! She is crazy!' I nodded.

Shane:' are you mad at me?'

Me:' no shane.. I just.. I am sorry..' he gave me a tender kiss on the cheek and smiled.

It was night now, they had to exchange shifts, tonight barron and shane are staying with me, before I went to the waiting room I decided to say goodnight to my mum, and shane came with me. I opened the door to her room, to find out that she wasn't there! I looked in the bathroom, but she wasn't there either!

Me:' where is she?'

Shane:' I don't know! Let's look for her!'

Me:' no need.. I think I know where she is..' we walked out of her room and walked to my dad's room, I found her looking through the glass, I ran towards her.

Me:' mum! Thank God you are okay! I was so worried about you!' my mum looked at me with tears streaming on her face.

Mum:' this is.. better?' I sighed and looked down, but then I felt her falling to the ground again, shane ran and held her and helped me put her on a chair.

Me:' mum! Mum please stay with me! Don't close your eyes!'

Mum:' this is.. your.. dad? Why? Why him?'

Me:' mum.. please.. please I am begging you! Stay with me.. I can't do this any longer.. please mum!' but then she was closing her eyes and she lost consciousness again. Shane ran and called the doctor, the nurses took her to her room and they closed the door again. A while later the doctor came out.

Me:' how is she?'

Doctor:' she is.. she has VERY high blood pressure mitchie.. that doesn't help her heart or any of her organs.. this is bad mitchie.. I am really sorry..' then he left. I looked at shane and he looked at me in great compassion.

Shane:' are you okay?' I laughed.

Me:' really shane? Am I supposed to be?'

Shane:' you are right.. stupid question.. bad..' I giggled.

Me:' I really shouldn't be laughing right now!' shane hugged me.

Me:' where am I supposed to go now shane? Here or there?'

Shane:' we will split up, one here and the other there.'

Me:' okay.. I'll stay here at least until she wakes up.. and you and barron can stay with my dad..'

Shane:' okay mitchie.. if you need anything call me..'

Me:' and shane? Please.. if anything happens.. good or bad.. tell me..' shane nodded and hugged me again and left. I went back into my mum's room, a tear escaped from my eyes, I stood infront of the window, looked up at the sky, and saw a star.

Me:' oh God please.. help them.. help me! I can't live without them.. please God.. ' then I heard my mum mumbling something in her sleep.

Mum:' Ashley.. ' I was horrified! I ran out of the room, I ran until I saw shane and I threw myself in his arms.

Shane:' what's wrong mitchie?'

Me:' Ashley.. she is calling on Ashley.. in her sleep shane..' he just kept holding me while I cried. A while later, just as I was finally calming down, I found the doctor running into my dad's room! I stood up quickly and watched what they were doing! I couldn't understand if it was good or bad. Then an hour later the doctor came out.

Doctor:' I don't know what to say mitchie..'

Me:' is he… dead?'

Doctor:' his heart stopped again.. but this time.. we couldn't revive him mitchie.. I am SO sorry to tell you this.. but we lost him..'


	19. Chapter 19

Me:' you lost him? No! no this can't be happening! No way! My dad is NOT dead! He can't be!' I was weeping so shane held me from behind but that didn't stop me from fighing, I kicked him and hit him and pushed him away, but he never let me go.

Me:' no doctor please! I already lost Ashley! I can't lose him too! Daddy nooooo! Please don't leave me!' then I was falling to the ground and shane was falling with me, I felt like my heart was ripped out of my chest! I couldn't bare that pain! When the doctor saw how weak I was getting, and how I was falling apart, he took me to a room and gave me a sedative, I went to sleep. Shane was with me in my room, he called them all to come, since barron was already here, so Caitlyn, sander, Margaret, mr. brown, Jason and nate had to come. In an hour they were all at the hospital, Caitlyn was crying because she loved my dad, and because she hated to see me suffer, nate hugged shane because he saw how devastated he was. They were all at my room, when I started to wake up, they all tried to pull themselves together.

Shane:' hey mitchie..'

Me:' hi.. shane.. tell me it isn't true..' shane held my hand tight.

Shane:' I am SO sorry mitchie..' I started crying.

Me:' he died shane! My father died! My best friend.. my everything died shane! God!' shane sat next to me on bed and hugged me tight.

Shane:' I know it hurts mitchie.. it doesn't make sense.. it doesn't seem fair.. it is.. horrible! But maybe if he lived he would have been hurting, I mean you saw how weak he was mitchie.. maybe it is for the better..'

Me:' I would have helped him! I would have stayed under his legs my whole life! If he didn't leave me! Why did I have to lose him too shane! I can't live without him! I can't!' he didn't know what to do, so he just held me and tried to keep me safe, after weeping for 2 hours straight, I was getting really tired.

I sat in the waiting room, with shane and Caitlyn on both my sides, and the others with me too, shane brought me a cup of coffee.

Shane:' drink this mitchie..'

Me:' no thanks.. I don't feel like it' all the time I was looking down and tears streaming down my face.

Shane:' mitchie you haven't eaten for days!'

Me:' shane.. I am just.. not hungry..'

Shane:' okay mitchie.. as you like..' then the doctor walked into the waiting room.

Doctor:' mitchie, your mum woke up, and she asked about you, and about… your father..' at that point I faced the doctor.

Doctor:' do you want me to tell her?'

Me:' I don't know.. how will I tell her?'

Shane:'mitchie, it's better if you are with her.. as hard as it is.. it's better..' I nodded, then I walked towards her room, shane followed me and then they all decided they would come with me.

I entered her room, shane was holding my hand.

Mum:' mitchie, where were you?'

Me:' sorry mum.. I was in the waiting room..'

Mum:' and nobody is with your dad?' at that point tears began to form in my eyes again.

Me:' he doesn't need it anymore mum..'

Mum:' what? What do you mean?'

Me:' I am… so sorry mum!' then I fell on my knees next to her bed and put my face in my hands and cried. My mum started to cry too, but she put her hand on my head and patted it.

Mum:' I know you are sweetheart.. I know you are..' Caitlyn held my mum's hand so tight.

Mr. brown:' I am very sorry for your loss' my mum nodded. Then she raised my head to face her, she wiped away my tears.

Mum:' when mitchie?'

Me:' over 2 hours ago mum..'

Mum:' how?'

Me:' mum please..'

Mum:' how mitchie?'

Me:' his heart stopped.. and they couldn't revive it again..'

Mum:' I want to see him..'

Me:' what?'

Mum:' I … want.. to see him..'

Me:' mum.. don't do this to me please! I already lost him! Don't throw yourself away and leave me alone! Mum please!'

Mum:' don't worry mitchie.. I just need to say my proper goodbye..'

Me:' okay mum.. but I'll come with you..'

Mum:' are you sure?' I nodded. Shane helped me up then he brought a wheel chair for my mum, he put her on it and then he pushed her through the hallways until we got to my dad's room, they were removing all the wires and were getting ready to move him to the morgue. Me and my mum walked into the room, she took his hand and kissed it, and a tear fell on it.

Mum:' hey babe.. I can't believe you left us.. I will miss you.. so much! Can you see Ashley? Are you both okay? God your hand is so cold.. I wish I could come along.. but mitchie me needs me here for now.. but I'll see you again.. in a much better place.. where there is no loss… and no pain! I love you.. and I always will..' then she kissed him on the forehead and pushed herself out of the room.

I just stood there, crying, staring at his lifeless pale body, was that my dad? I couldn't believe it.

Me:' I asked you not to leave me daddy.. but you did.. why? Why couldn't you wait for a while? I am only 18! I need you daddy! Can you hear me? Daddy, I can't believe you are gone! I don't know what to do daddy! I just.. I miss you! I need you daddy! Daddy, I love you so much, you know that, right?' somewhere deep inside I was hoping he would answer me, but he didn't, he was really gone.


	20. Chapter 20

I hugged him, his body was so cold against mine, then I turned around and left the room.

Shane:' are you okay?' I didn't even answer, I just kept walking, not knowing where to go, tears streaming down my face, the picture of my dad's dead body never leaving my sight. I walked and walked with no destination, I walked trying to escape from the pain, trying to leave all that behind, but it was in my heart, I couldn't escape from that.

Suddenly I found myself in the graveyards, where Ashley was buried, I walked to her grave and fell on my knees right infront of it.

Me:' Ashley.. Ashley dad is dead… I can't believe I lost him too! I am so lost without him Ashley! Is he with you? Can you see him? If you can.. tell him I love him.. tell him I needed him.. tell him… tell him that his loss is too hard on me Ashley! I don't know how to go home without him there! I don't know how to sit down and eat without me and him fooling around.. I don't.. I don't know how to live when he is not alive Ashley!' I was weeping. I cried so much that night that I accidently fell asleep right infront of ashley's grave. I was woken by the sound of the morning, cars, people, life. So I rubbed my eyes, and then I stood up and left. Then I remembered, today is my dad's funeral! I couldn't miss it! So I ran back to the hospital hoping that I'd find any of them but it was too late, they were gone! Then I ran home, opened the door and called on her but she didn't answer, I didn't know what to do. I took out my phone and dialed shane's number.

Shane:' mitchie?'

Me:' shane, don't tell me I missed the funeral!'

Shane:' no mitchie! But where are you? We have been worried sick!'

Me:' it is a long story.. I'll tell you later.. where are you anyway?'

Shane:' at the police station..'

Me:' why?'

Shane:' we were worried about you.. so we came to report you missing!'

Me:' no shane.. come back home..'

Shane:' okay mitchie.. bye' then I hung up. I went to my room and changed into a black dress and put my hair into a pony tail, I grabbed black shoes from my mum's locker then I sat on my bed waiting for them. Then I heard the front door opening, I walked down the stairs.

Mum:' God mitchie! Are you okay?'

Me:' yeah mum..' then I hugged her tight.

Shane:' where were you?'

Me:' it doesn't matter.. mum.. are you okay?'

Mum:' I don't know mitchie… I don't… really understand..' I didn't understand either.

Me:' mum, when is the funeral?'

Mum:' oh my God.. funeral.. now we are preparing a funeral instead of a welcome home party for our girl..' then she pushed her chair into the kitchen and brought back some decoration that said "welcome home baby girl" that was what he called me.. baby girl.. I looked at my mum with tears in my eyes..

Me:' you were already preparing for it?'

Mum:' he was…' I turned around to face shane, handed him the decoration, and then walked pass him out of the house. I sat on the porch, shane came and sat next to me, he took my hand.

Shane:' mitchie.. I am.. beyond sorry… I don't know what to do to help.. you are putting yourself in a shell and shutting the world out.. I am here for you mitchie.. so let me..' I looked at him with a painful look.

Me:' my dad.. died.. yesterday… how opened should I be? What do you want from me?'

Shane:' calm down mitchie! I don't want anything from you! I just want you to open up to me and let me help you!'

Me:' open up? You want me to open up? How shane? How can this pain.. be described in words? How can I say how much I miss my dad? How shane?' he pulled me close into his arms and hugged me tight, I cried on his shoulder, he patted on my back and kissed my forehead.

Shane:' I am sorry if I am pushing you.. but it breaks my heart seeing you like that.. and I don't know what to do to help.. I am sorry mitchie..' he hugged me for a while more, then we went back into the house, to find my mum in the living room, watching TV while holding a picture of my dad.

Me:' mum.. what are you doing?'

Mum:' we were sitting here.. watching TV.. watching this movie.. when suddenly his heart stopped? And now… now he is dead? How is that possible mitchie?'

Me:' mum.. please… PLEASE don't do this to me.. I need you mum! I am losing you too and I can't take it! Please mum.. lets help each other get through this! But please.. don't let me face this alone.. I am begging you…' and I walked towards her and put my head on her lap and cried, she patted my head.

Mum:' you are right.. I am sorry..'

Me:' I love you mum..'

Mum:' I love you too sweetheart..' then I gave her a hug, and shane helped me get her to her room, she wore her pijamas and went to sleep.

I went downstairs and shane was looking through the window, but when he heard my footsteps he turned around and faced me.

Shane:' how is she?' I just hugged him, he hugged me back.. tight.

Shane:' we are working on the preparations of the funeral, don't worry..'

Me:' we?'

Shane:' yeah mitchie.. me, Jason, nate, Caitlyn, Margaret, uncle brown, barron and sander..'

Me:' I can't believe it.. thank you shane..' then I kissed him on the cheek. We sat in the living room, not talking, he just sat there with me, to let me know he was there, I was still wearing black, and no matter how many times I tried to forget why, I couldn't.. I was wearing black because I was getting ready to burry my dad.


	21. Chapter 21

That night I didn't get ANY sleep, Caitlyn slept over but shane went home to stay with his brothers and uncle, all night I was thinking about my dad, and all the promises we made, about my graduation, my wedding, my first child, my first job, and so much more. How come this isn't going to happen? I was still shocked by the fact that I won't see him again.. ever.

The next thing I know, Caitlyn is waking up, she rubbed her eyes and then she looked at me, I was awake.

Caitlyn:' mitchie.. you didn't sleep?'

Me:' no..' Caitlyn came closer and gave me a hug, then she went to the bathroom to get ready for the funeral, she wore black jeans and a black shirt with a grey jacket, and she wore black shoes too, then I wore the same black dress I wore yesterday, and the same shoes, then we were both ready. I went to check on my mum, she was sitting on her bed, with my dad's picture in her hand.

Me:' mum? Are you ready?'

Mum:' ready? I will never be ready to let him go mitchie..' I walked towards her, sat next to her on bed, and put my head on her shoulder.

Me:' me neither mum..' a while later she went to get ready, she wore a black suit, and a black hat, she also brought her black glasses to hide her swollen eyes. We walked downstairs and found Caitlyn sitting in the living room with shane, nate, Jason and mr. brown. I helped my mum sit next to them, then I walked towards shane, he hugged me tight, then I welcomed the rest of them.

Shane:' so we have 2 cars, mine and uncle brown's, jason's car is with barron and sander, they will take Margaret with them and wait for us there..' I nodded.

Shane:' whenever you guys are ready..' I looked at my mum who was looking down, I kissed her on the cheek and felt her tears on my lips, I wiped them away, then I took her hand and helped her stand, she leaned on me until we got to shane's car, we both got in, my mum in the back and me in the front next to shane. Caitlyn went with mr. brown, nate and Jason.

Nate:' so how is she holding on?'

Caitlyn:' she didn't sleep all night, her eyes are swollen from all the crying, she is really messed up nate..' nate sighed.

Mr. brown:' we have to be there for her and her mother.. no matter how long it takes..'

Nate:' of course! We are all they have got now..' Caitlyn nodded.

20 minutes later we got to the graveyards, shane helped me with my mum who could barely walk, and the rest of them followed us. Barron, sander and Margaret were already there, they hugged me then we walked towards my dad's grave, right next to ashley's. as they were putting my dad down into the grave I felt like I couldn't breathe, like my soul was drained from my body, tears were streaming down my face. But my mum… my mum was falling to the ground, I was barely holding her, she was weeping and screaming! She wanted to run towards him but shane and I stopped her, my mum was in so much pain. After he was put into his grave, we slowly helped my mum back to the car, she laid down in the back seat, I stood infront of the car with my back to it, shane came and stood next to me.

Shane:' I don't know what to say…'

Me:' just hold me..' he came closer to me and held me close. Tears were falling on his shirt. So he tightened his grip. After I cried for a while nate came.

Nate:' how is your mum doing?'

Me:' I don't know nate.. I don't know what to do..' nate hugged me.

Nate:' you are not alone mitchie, we are all with you..' I nodded.

Mr. brown:' mitchie.. who would you like to stay with you tonight?'

Me:' no need mr. brown, we are out of the hospital now.. so..'

Mr. brown:' mitchie we won't let you face this alone!' I forced a smile and nodded.

Mr. brown:' so yesterday Caitlyn stayed with you, so she must go home to rest today..'

Shane:' I will stay with her..'

Nate:' me too!'

Me:' thank you guys..' they both hugged me. Mr. brown drove the rest home, and nate got in the car with us, I sat in the back with my mum's head on my lap, and nate sat in the front next to shane. I was patting on her hair, and tears escaping from my eyes. Shane would look at me from the mirror, and flash a smile if I looked back.

15 minutes later we were at my house, I put my mum into bed, and went back down to sit with shane and nate, shane put his arm on my shoulder, and kissed me on the cheek.

Shane:' hold on mitchie..' I nodded, but when I felt tears falling on my face again I quickly wiped them away.

Me:' so anybody hungry?'

Nate:' mitchie…' he saw my tears.

Me:' no no guys.. please.. what do you want to eat?'

Shane:' peanut butter and jelly sandwich?' I nodded. Then I walked into the kitchen, I got the bread, peanut butter, and jelly out, I brought a knife and started making the sandwiches, I was crying, tears falling on the kitchen table, then I had a flash back, once my mum was out and I was with my dad at home, we got hungry, so we went to the kitchen we started laughing because we didn't know how to do anything! We ended up making a big mess! That day was so much fun! I missed him… so much… and as I was remembering I lost my concentration and cut my hand. I yelled in pain, then I threw the knife and fell to the ground crying. Shane and nate came to the kitchen running, they saw me on the floor with tears drops and blood on the floor.

Shane:' God mitchie! What happened?'

Me:' I can't do this! I need him!' I was weeping. Shane pulled me close into a tight hug, nate ran to bring me a wet towel, he wiped away the blood, then he tied a bandage over it to stop the bleeding. I was crying the whole time, with shane holding me. After nate tried stopping the bleeding, shane carried me to the living room, and nate cleaned up the kitchen and made the sandwiches.

Nate:' here you go..'

Me:' thanks nate.. but I don't feel like it..' nate bent on his knees infront of me.

Nate:' mitchie you have to eat.. you haven't eaten for days now.. you have to stay strong for your mum at least.. and for us mitchie.. look! We are all around you.. but we are scared to death of losing you! Please.. eat..' I took the sandwich and nodded. I took a bite, then nate smiled and so did shane. They finished up their sandwiches while I barely ate half.. but atleast I ate.


	22. Chapter 22

Shane:' I will go check on your mum..' I nodded. He went upstairs, then nate took my hand.

Nate:' the bleeding stopped.. that's good..' I nodded.

Me:' I am fine nate..'

Nate:' mitchie.. you don't have to pretend infront of us.. you don't even have to be strong around us.. we are here for you no matter what!' I just leaned closer and hugged him. Shane came back down, he saw us hugging, he looked a bit mad but he didn't say anything.

Shane:' your mum is still asleep mitchie..'

Me:' okay.. good.. thanks shane!'

Shane:' no problem..'

Me:' is there something wrong?' shane looked at me, and at nate, then back at me.

Shane:' no not at all!' I stared into his eyes because I could see he was lying.

Shane:' what mitchie? There is nothing wrong!'

Nate:' what is wrong man? You see pissed!' shane then looked at nate in anger.

Shane:' YOU stay out of this!'

Nate:' woah, what did I do?'

Shane:' whatever man!' then he stood up and headed to the kitchen, I looked at nate confused and then we both followed him to the kitchen.

Me:' shane, talk to me! What is wrong?' shane was opening the fridge but then he shut it closed roughly!

Me:' God shane! What happened in those couple of moments?'

Nate:' come on man! Tell us already!'

Shane:' get out of here nate!'

Nate:' what?'

Shane:' GET… OUT…'

Nate:' fine man! Whatever!' then he was heading to leave when I caught his arm and pulled him back.

Me:' no you won't! what happened shane?'

Shane:' yes he will mitchie!'

Me:' not before you tell me why!'

Shane:' it is either he goes.. or I will! Your choice..'

Me:' I can't believe you are doing this.. now..'

Shane:' I gave you a choice mitchie..'

Nate:' it is fine mitchie.. I don't know what has gone into him! But I will go..'

Shane:' nothing has got into me! Do you think I am crazy or something?' and he was heading to fight with nate when I stood between the both of them.

Me:' stop it! Are you out of your mind? This is your brother shane!'

Shane:' mitchie make up your mind! Me or him?'

Me:' don't make me do this choice shane..'

Shane:' you have to..'

Me:' shane…'

Shane:' DO IT!'

Me:' fine shane.. I am sorry..'

Shane:' fine mitchie. You made the choice.' Then he turned around, walked to the door, then he looked at me one last time, and left. I went to the living room and sat on the couch, nate came and sat next to me.

Nate:' are you okay?' I nodded in refuse, he hugged me. Then I heard my mum coming down the stairs.

Mum:' hey..'

Me:' hi mum..'

Mum:' where is shane?'

Me:' I don't know.. maybe he went to change his clothes or something..' my mum nodded then she came and sat next to me on the couch.

Me:' so how are you feeling?' she forced a smile.

Mum:' I'll be okay baby girl..' I put my head on her shoulder and she patted on it. Then nate went to the kitchen to make my mum something to eat, he made her a sandwich, and then he gave it to her.

Mum:' thank you nate..' he smiled at her, she ate after we pushed her to do it. Then we heard a knock on the door, I ran to open it hoping it would be shane, but it wasn't, it was one of my dad's friends, his name was uncle john. When I opened the door he hugged me tight, he was at the funeral but we didn't talk much.

Uncle john:' I am so sorry mitchie..'

Me:' thank you uncle john..' then he came in, when my mum saw him, she hugged him tight, my dad loved him very much, then he sat with us in the living room, I went to the kitchen to make him coffee and nate came with me. My hand was shaking, so nate caught my hand and took the cup.

Nate:' I will do it mitchie..'

Me:' thanks nate.. nate?'

Nate:' yeah..'

Me:' what are we going to do about shane?' nate sighed.

Nate:' I don't know.. I don't even understand what happened!'

Me:' me neither..'

Nate:' maybe we should tell Jason? Or mr. brown?'

Me:' no no.. I don't think so… they have enough on their plate! Let's just wait and see..' nate nodded. He carried the 2 cups of coffee and he gave them to my mum and uncle john.

Uncle john:' so who is this young man?'

Me:' oh yeah right, you don't know him! This is nate gray, one of the members in the band called connection 3!'

Uncle john:' WOW! A rock star!' I smiled.

Uncle john:' so how do you know each other?'

Me:' we met at camp, he has been really helpful!' nate smiled when he heard that, I smiled back. A while later uncle john left, and my mum was tired so she went back to sleep, I didn't feel like sleeping at all, so I turned on the TV and found Spanglish playing, it was one of my and my dad's favorites. I watched and then tears started streaming down my face, nate was watching too, then he looked at me and saw that I was crying.

Nate:' oh man, mitchie!' he gave me a tissue then he came closer and hugged me.

Me:' I am sorry..'

Nate:' for what? Don't be mitchie..' he kept holding me then I fell asleep on his shoulder, he carried me to my room, then he went back to the living room and slept on the couch. The next morning I woke up, then I went to the bathroom, washed my face, brushed my teeth, then I got dressed. I wore my dark blue jeans and a dark green t-shirt, I wore green flip flops then I went downstairs, nate was still asleep, I smiled at his sight then I went to the kitchen to make breakfast.


	23. Chapter 23

As I was making breakfast I heard the door bell ringing, I walked to open it and I found nate waking up rubbing his eyes, I laughed, when I opened the door it was Caitlyn, barron and sander. I hugged them all and they came inside, they laughed at the sight of sleepy nate.

Caitlyn:' is shane still asleep too?' I looked down and so did nate.

Me:' guys, who is hungry?' they all raised their hands, I laughed again, Caitlyn saw the cut in my hand.

Caitlyn:' mitchie! What happened to you?'

Me:' nothing Caitlyn, just a little accident!' then we both went to the kitchen, I made eggs, bacon and cheese, we also made orange juice. We ate together, then we saw my mum coming down the stairs.

Mum:' good morning guys..'

Everyone:' good morning mrs. Connie!'

Mum:' yum, that looks delicious!' we all laughed, she came and sat next to me after she kissed my head.

Me:' are you feeling better?'

Mum:' much better baby girl!' I smiled.

Mum:' I had a dream..'

Me:' a good dream?' she nodded with a smile, so I smiled back.

Mum:' I dreamt of your father.. he was smiling at me mitchie.. he seemed so peaceful and happy!'

Me:' he did?' and I had teary eyes, she wiped my tears away.

Mum:' yeah.. he said he loved us both.. and that he will always watch over us.. he told me to be happy that Ashley isn't alone anymore.. ' at that point I was crying, she stood and hugged me from behind.

Mum:' he said that he doesn't want to see anymore tears.. he missed our smiles.. and he said he knew that we love him..' I nodded, wiped away my tears and excused myself. I went to the bathroom to wash my face and Caitlyn followed me.

Caitlyn:' are you okay mitch?'

Me:' yeah.. yeah I am..' I pulled myself together then we both went back to the living room, nate looked at me and smiled, I forced a smile back, I sat next to him. We all talked for a while, and watched TV, we had a good time, I finally saw my mum's smile, so I was feeling a little better too. At night nate had to go home, and barron and Caitlyn were staying with me that night. Nate hugged me tight and then he left. My mum went to sleep, and barron slept as we were watching TV, so Caitlyn came closer to me.

Caitlyn:' so what happened to shane?'

Me:' nothing Caitlyn..'

Caitlyn:' mitchie, I know you! I can see that you are heartbroken!'

Me:' of course I am! I have just lost my father Caitlyn!'

Caitlyn:' I know.. I am sorry… I just mean I can see that something happened between you and shane.. or he wouldn't have left you!' I sighed.

Me:' I am not even sure what happened.. one minute he goes to check on mum, the other he is yelling at nate and kicking him out of the house!' Caitlyn gasped.

Me:' yeah and when I told nate not to leave shane told me it's me or him!'

Caitlyn:' NO WAY!'

Me:' yeah he did! So of course I let him go..'

Caitlyn:' oh man.. what is with the attitude?'

Me:' I don't know Caitlyn.. I really don't.. anyway whatever! I don't care..' Caitlyn then hugged me tight. We both went to sleep watching a movie, on the couch, next to barron.

The next morning my mum woke up early, she got dressed then she came to the living room and saw us asleep over each other, she laughed at that sight. I woke up at the sound of her laughter. I smiled at her, then she kissed me on the cheek and walked to the kitchen to make breakfast. I woke barron and Caitlyn up. Then I walked to my room to change. I wore blue jeans and a white shirt, and I wore red flip flops, I curled my hair and went to the living room again. They already started eating.

Me:' hey! I am hungry too!' they all laughed. I sat next to Caitlyn and ate, then the doorbell rang.

Me:' I'll get it!' I walked to the door and opened it to find mr. brown, Jason and nate, but no shane. They all hugged me and went to the living room. But nate whispered something in my ear.

Nate:' we need to talk..' so we both went outside the house and stood at the porch.

Me:' what is it nate?'

Nate:' shane..'

Me:' what is wrong with him?'

Nate:' nothing nothing.. don't worry! He just.. he didn't come home to me and Jason since the other day..'

Me:' what? Where did he stay?'

Nate:' I don't know.. in a hotel maybe..'

Me:' why? I don't understand anything!'

Nate:' me neither mitchie..' I took out my phone, and dialed his number.

Me:' shane?'

Shane:' yeah.. hey mitchie..'

Me:' hey mitchie? What is the matter with you shane?'

Shane:' nothing!'

Me:' where are you?'

Shane:' why?'

Me:' shane just tell me already!'

Shane:' fine! I am at the hotel next to uncle brown's house! Room 145.'

Me:' fine I am coming over!' then I hung up. Nate and I went back into the house.

Me:' mum I'll go out for a while! I'll be back soon, feed nate!' she laughed.

Mum:' okay baby girl but don't be late!'

Me:' bye!' then I left. I took a cap to the hotel and went to his room, I took a deep breath then I knocked on his door. He opened the door and invited me inside.

Me:' okay shane.. now tell me.. what is it?'

Shane:' what is what?'

Me:' why aren't you staying with mr. brown? Why are you mad at me and nate? What is wrong shane?'

Shane:' nothing is…' I interrupted him yelling.

Me:' don't you dare say nothing! I know you shane! What is wrong?'

Shane:' what is between you and nate?'

Me:' what?'

Shane:' you heard me! You hug! You trust him! You make a perfect couple!'

Me:' you can't be serious shane! This is me! And your brother! How could you?'

Shane:' how could YOU mitchie? Playing on the 2 brothers!' at that point I slapped him.

Me:' I never want to see you again!' then I ran out of his room, and I ran home, all the way I was crying. I got to the house, ran to my room and locked the door.

Mum:' mitchie? Mitchie what is wrong?'

Me:' nothing… mum.. I just.. I just need to be alone..'

Mum:' baby girl, I won't leave you like this!' then I heard nate's voice.

Nate:' mitchie open up.. please let's talk..'

Me:' I DON'T want to talk nate! I am through talking! I just want to be alone!' I was now weeping.

Mum:' okay sweetie.. we'll wait downstairs until you are ready to talk..' she waited for an answer but she didn't get any, she sighed and walked with nate back to the living room. They were all worried.

Mr. brown:' what is wrong with her?'

Mum:' I don't know mr. brown.. she didn't open the door!'

Caitlyn:' where was she anyway?' she saw nate looking down.

Caitlyn:' she went to shane?' nate nodded.

Mum:' why? What is wrong with shane and her?'

Caitlyn:' they fought mrs. Connie! That's why he hadn't been around for a while..'

Mum:' but what did they fight about?'

Caitlyn:' nate..'

Mum:' what? Why?'

Nate:' he kicked me out of the house, when mitchie stopped him he gave her a choice, either me.. or him.. she let him go and since then he hadn't stayed with us at home and he hadn't talked to me or mitchie!'

Mum:' oh my God.. mitchie must have been devastated! She hid her pain this whole time.. oh my baby girl..' Caitlyn hugged her.

Caitlyn:' we'll know what happened when she is ready to talk.. not let's just pray for her and give her what she needs..' they all nodded.


	24. Chapter 24

I spent the rest of that day in my room, crying a lot, and at night I went to sleep because I was too tired. The next morning, I opened my eyes, but I didn't want to leave my bed, I wish I could hide in that room forever, but I couldn't. I did what I usually do in the morning, then I wore a white skirt and a blue shirt, then I went downstairs, I found my mum, nate, Margaret and mr. brown in the living room. When my mum saw me she ran my way and hugged me tight.

Mum:' thank God you are okay!'

Me:' mum.. I am fine..' then they all hugged me, and I sat with them on the table, but I didn't eat anything, I wasn't hungry at all. After they finished eating, nate and I volunteered to take the dishes to the kitchen, I carried some of them and he carried the rest, then we walked into the kitchen.

Nate:' so mitchie.. won't you tell me what happened yesterday?'

Me:' no nate.. I am not talking about it.. or him.. I am done with your brother.. for good..'

Nate:' what? And why is that?'

Me:' because.. well because it won't work between us!'

Nate:' why mitchie?'

Me:' nate! I said I don't want to talk about it!'

Nate:' well excuse me! But you two fight together and then you both are mad at me! I have the right to know what happened!'

Me:' nate.. shane doesn't trust me.. he hurt me.. and that ended it between us!'

Nate:' how? How did he hurt you?' I sighed.

Me:' he thinks I am cheating on him… with you..'

Nate:' what? Has he lost it?'

Me:' ask him nate.. I don't care anymore! I just.. I need to forget about him and move on..' nate then walked out of the house furious! I sighed, then I walked back into the living room.

Mr. brown:' so mitchie.. what happened with shane? And now nate too?'

Me:' God! I don't want to talk about it! If you want to know anything ask them! I am through talking!'

Mr. brown:' okay mitchie.. I am sorry..'

Me:' no.. no mr. brown I am sorry! I didn't mean to lose it like that.. I am just.. a bit tired.. sorry again..' mr. brown smiled at me.

Mr. brown:' it's okay mitchie..' in the meantime, nate took a cap to shane's hotel, he ran to his room and knocked the door, when shane opened up, nate punched him in the face!

Shane:' what the hell man?'

Nate:' you dare think that mitchie and I cheat on you! Together? I don't know who you think we are but we are certainly not that!'

Shane:' from the way I see it, you make a perfect couple!'

Nate:' God shane! How blind can you possibly be? She wants you! Not me! I am just her friend and I care about her so much more than you do apparently!'

Shane:' don't you dare say so! I care about her more than anything!'

Nate:' yeah? Well that is why you said what you said and you though what you thought? That is why you broke her already broken heart? That is why you left her to cry for a whole day with no sleep and food? If that is how you care about someone shane.. then please don't care about her anymore!' then nate left the room slamming the door behind him. Shane sat on the bed, put his head into his hand.

Shane:' what have I done?' then he ran to his car, he took it and drove to my house, he knocked on the door, and mr. brown opened, he seemed shocked.

Mr. brown:' shane? What are you doing here?'

Shane:' I need to tell mitchie something..'

Mr. brown:' she is in the living room.. good luck!' then shane came inside. I was watching TV, when I saw him walking towards me.

Mum:' shane?'

Shane:' yeah mrs. Connie.. that's me..' I could feel my eyes felling up with tears, so I stood up, looked at him in pain, then I walked to the kitchen. Shane followed me.

Me:' shane.. get out of here please!'

Shane:' not before you listen to me..'

Me:' I DON'T want to! I will NOT talk to you or hear you!'

Shane:' why?'

Me:' why? Why? Because not a word you say I will believe! Because your voice hurts me! Because you broke my heart! Because shane.. because I am VERY disappointed in you..' I could see that my words hurt him, but that was not even half what I was feeling.

Shane:' you are right.. I am a jerk! But mitchie.. I made a mistake! And I need you to forgive me..'

Me:' shane.. get.. out..' he walked towards me and tried putting his hands on my shoulders but I pulled back.

Shane:' okay mitchie.. as you like.. I'll wait for you..' I was looking down. He left the house. And I gradually fell to the ground. Mr. brown came into the kitchen and saw me on the ground, he sat next to me.

Mr. brown:' you didn't forgive him, huh?' I nodded in refuse.

Mr. brown:' I don't blame you..' I nodded.

Mr. brown:' you love him?' I nodded again.

Mr. brown:' he loves you too..' then I started crying, he held me close, and kissed my forehead.

Mr. brown:' you are so strong mitchie! More than you think you are! You'll get through this and you will find your way back to him! That is of course, if you were meant to be..' he kept holding me for a while, then I stopped crying, I walked to my room and Margaret followed me.

Margaret:' mitchie.. I know we aren't really close.. but I really care about you.. and I want you to know that you can trust me.. and that I am here for you..' I forced a smile.

Me:' I know Margaret.. thank you..' she gave me a hug then we both walked back downstairs.

For 2 weeks I haven't heard of shane.. for 2 weeks the guys were still exchanging shifts EVERY night to take care of me.. for 2 weeks shane and nate hadn't spoken. Until one day I was watching TV when I found the ellen degenres show playing, I loved ellen so I watched it, only to find out that the guest was shane.

Ellen:' so shane.. I hear you have something to say..'

Shane:' yeah.. well ellen.. I hurt 2 people I REALLY care about.. I was stupid and judgmental and I know I was wrong.. but to those 2 persons.. I am SO sorry! I love you both so much… and I miss you.. I hope you can forgive me someday..'

Ellen:' I hope so too shane.. so you have a song for us?'

Shane:' yeah, it's called "lost my way"'

Ellen:' okay, the stage is yours.'

Shane:' you and I .. we were one..

Like a breath and a sigh.. like the moon with the sun..

We complete each other..

We can make it through the toughest weather..

But then I lost my way..

I told you I'll go and you stay..

And I lost my way.. lost my way

But baby can I stay?

I broke your heart..

When you needed me the most..

We were apart..

And our love I lost..

All because.. I lost my way.. lost my way

I really wish I had stayed

And I lost my way.. lost the way

Will you forgive me today?

I miss your touch..

I miss your kiss..

I love you so much..

Our love I miss..

I know I hurt you..

If only you knew..

How much I love you..

You don't have a clue!

I am sorry.. I lost my way

If only.. you would forgive me today

I lost it once.. but never again..

I need your trust.. your love I'll regain..

So will you forgive me.. today?' the audience clapped but I saw the tears shane was trying to hide, and I was crying myself, as much as I wanted him back, the pain he caused me was so deep, I couldn't go through it again. I loved him.. but maybe we weren't meant to be.


	25. Chapter 25

After I saw that performance I switched off the TV and walked to my bed, I sat there, crying, thinking about shane, I missed him, then I found my phone ringing. It was nate.

Me:' hello?'

Nate:' hey mitchie, are you crying?'

Me:' no.. don't worry about me!'

Nate:' did you… did you see the interview?'

Me:' yeah..'

Nate:' so what now mitchie?'

Me:' now.. now we'll go on just like we were doing nate.. shane should take care of his career now, and maybe find a girl who loves him and he loves her too, I wish for him everything good.'

Nate:' oh.. so you won't take him back?'

Me:' no nate.. I can't.. but I know I'll always love him..'

Nate:' then why not?'

Me:' because.. some things when they are broken.. they never mend again.. so.. as much as I love him.. I can't go through that pain again nate..' nate sighed.

Nate:' mitchie, who is staying with you tonight?'

Me:' nobody! I told them all to go home, it has been over 2 weeks and me and my mum are getting better! So you all go home and sleep in your beds then you can come over anytime!'

Nate:' so you'll be okay?' I took a deep breath.

Me:' yeah..'

Nate:' okay mitchie, sweet dreams!'

Me:' goodnight nate' then I hung up. I laid back on the pillow, closed my eyes, and slowly went to sleep.

The next morning I woke up, did the usual things, then I wore a brown dress with pink flowers as a pattern, then I went downstairs.

Mum:' good morning baby girl.'

Me:' good morning mum! Don't make me breakfast, I am going now.'

Mum:' where to?'

Me:' I am.. going to visit daddy..' mum nodded, so I walked her way and kissed her on the cheek, then I smiled at her and left. The walk to the graveyards was full of anxiety and fear, but mostly pain, I couldn't believe I was visiting my dad underground now, that I would talk to him and he won't answer, that I'd cry and he won't hug me, this wasn't easy for me, but I had to do it.

When I finally got to the graveyards I took a deep breath and walked towards my dad's grave, I sat in front of it.

Me:' hi daddy.. how are you? I miss you so much! If only you knew how much I need you right now.. you know shane, right? Yeah.. well we had a fight.. and for 2 weeks I didn't hear from him.. until yesterday when he wrote me this beautiful song daddy! But I won't get back to him.. I can't.. he left me at the hardest time of my life! And he broke my heart to pieces daddy! Anyway.. I just.. REALLY miss you.. and I love you daddy..' a few tears fell from my eyes, then I stood up and walked away. As I was walking home I tried wiping away my tears so that my mum won't be upset. Then I heard someone calling my name. I looked back and it was shane.

Shane:' mitchie.. hi..'

Me:' hi shane..'

Shane:' woah, why are you crying?'

Me:' nothing… it's.. nothing..'

Shane:' I miss you..' I looked into his eyes, then I turned around to leave, but he caught my arm and stopped me.

Shane:' where are you going?'

Me:' home..'

Shane:' what about me?' I looked at him again, then I kissed him on the cheek.

Me:' I hope you have a happy life shane.. where all your dreams come true!'

Shane:' without you?' I nodded.

Me:' without me..'

Shane:' why?'

Me:' shane.. it is just.. it isn't working out.. but you know.. that whenever you need me, I'll be there for you.. I owe you that much!'

Shane:' mitchie please.. I am sorry! I know I hurt you! I know I broke your heart! But at the same time I broke mine too! It was hard to live without you mitchie! Please.. give me one more chance..'

Me:' shane.. listen to me.. you are a talented, kind, supportive, beautiful person.. you'll find a girl who will make all your dreams come true.. who you'll trust no matter what.. but shane.. she is not me anymore!' then I pulled my hand from his and ran home, but I heard him saying something.

Shane:' there is no one else..' but I just kept running, when I got home, my mum was in the living room, with Caitlyn, they saw that I was crying.

Mum:' what is wrong honey?' I ran towards her and threw myself in her arms crying, Caitlyn came and patted on my back and kissed me on the cheek. A while later I started to pull myself together.

Mum:' so what is wrong mitchie?'

Me:' I saw shane..'

Mum:' where?'

Me:' on my way home.. he apologized a lot.. and he begged me to forgive him.. but I couldn't mum! I left him!'

Mum:' mitchie.. honey.. he loves you or he wouldn't have fought so hard for you.. and you love him.. I think you should think about it again.. listen to your heart mitchie..'

Me:' but how mum? How can I get back to him after he doubted me! After he said I was playing on both brothers! After he left me alone to face my dad's death!'

Mum:' I know he did all that.. but he also held you while you cried.. he was there for you ALL the time.. he helped me and you.. he never let you fall mitchie.. he did that too, right?' I nodded.

Caitlyn:' and mitchie?' I looked towards her.

Caitlyn:' he called me EVERYDAY to make sure you and your mum are okay..'

Me:' he did?' Caitlyn nodded. Then I went to my room, I took off my dress, and I wore a dark green dress, then I straightened my hair, put some make up and wore black heals, then I walked downstairs.

Caitlyn:' WOW!' I smiled.

Mum:' you look beautiful sweetheart!'

Me:' thank you mum..' I kissed my mum and hugged Caitlyn.

Caitlyn:' I'll come with you!'

Me:' okay, call nate and Jason and make them meet us at camp!'

Caitlyn:' camp?'

Me:' yeah!' we went to mr. brown's house, we asked him to drive us back to camp, and he agreed. Jason was supposed to bring barron, sander and Margaret, and nate was supposed to bring shane without telling him why! It was a hard task since they haven't talked for a while but I thought that would help him make up! So nate went to shane's hotel room, knocked the door and shane opened.

Shane:' nate? I miss you man!' then he hugged him tight, nate hugged back. Then shane told him to come in.

Shane:' nate.. I am REALLY sorry!'

Nate:' shane you should have known better! How could you doubt us like that?' shane looked down.

Shane:' I was stupid and jealous! And it will never happen again!' nate nodded.

Nate:' good! Come with me!'

Shane:' where?'

Nate:' I want to show you something!'

Shane:' okay!' they both got into shane's car and drove to camp, shane was so confused, he didn't know why they were returning to camp when there was nobody there, and he knew that all the memories he had with me would hurt him. When they got to camp, nate guided shane to where the lake is.

Shane:' what is going on man?'

Nate:' wait shane! I want to show you something!' then shane found candles, in the lake, and flowers, and decoration which made the place very beautiful, he was surprised! Suddenly a strong light was directed right infront of the lake, where a stage was. He looked on stage and he saw me, he smiled at that sight, Jason and nate were standing behind me to play their guitars, and Margaret was going to sing back up. Caitlyn, barron, sander and mr. brown were hiding behind the stage, the audience was only shane.

Me:' we once met..

It was an open gate..

After all the doors has closed..

After all the hopes were lost..

I saw..

I saw a certain glow..

In your eyes.. that gave me life

In your eyes.. helped me complete my climb

But then we went our separate ways

But then everything fact seemed like a may

I thought about you every day, every night

But in my heart I always knew what was right

You and me..

We belong together

We were meant to be

We are forever

Don't you see?

I couldn't.. break my heart again

But after I let you go.. I knew..

That my heart will always be broken without you!

That my love for you is what was getting me through..

So now I say..

Our love is no may..

Now I know..

I live.. by.. that glow..

Yeah I live by your.. glow!'

When I finished the song I waited for shane to react, then I found him walking towards the stage, he came up and walked towards me, then we were face to face, so close, he leaned and gave me a kiss, I kissed him back. Jason and nate were smiling at us and then Caitlyn started screaming! I smiled through the kiss and so did he. Then Margaret came and hugged me, and nate and Jason hugged shane.

Shane:' mitchie.. I love you..' I smiled.

Me:' I love you too shane..'


	26. Chapter 26

Then after nate hugged shane, he looked towards me awkwardly, hesitated, should he hug me or not? Then he gave me his hand for me to shake, I shook it.

Me:' ookay.. thanks nate' shane laughed.

Shane:' it's cool man! You can hug her!' I giggled then nate hugged me tight.

Me:' thank you nate..' he smiled at me after he pulled back. We spent the rest of the day in camp, singing, dancing, laughing, talking, we had a really good time. Then it was time for everyone to sing a song in turn, first nate, he sang hello world by lady antebellum. Then shane's turn, he sang the way you look tonight by rod stewart, as he was singing, he walked towards me, took my hand, and we slow danced, it was magical! Then Margaret who sang a new day has come by celine dion and as usual her voice was so powerful and touching! Then my turn, I didn't know what to sing, so I decided I was going to sing I look to you by whitney Houston. I sang it and since it was a VERY hard song, I put everything into it! After I finished singing all eyes were on me, shane kissed me on the cheek, Margaret hugged me tight, while the others mouths dropped.

Barron:' damn girl!' I laughed.

Nate:' this is… amazing mitchie!'

Me:' thanks nate..'

Mr. brown:' I have an idea! I think you should do a duet with connection 3!'

Me:' what? No no! thank you but I don't think so!'

Shane:' why?'

Me:' shane are you out of your mind? Your manager hates me! And I can't sing infront of an audience! I barely sang infront of you guys!'

Shane:' my manager is gone!'

Me:' how?'

Shane:' I fired him..'

Me:' what? Why? And when?'

Shane:' on the day Caitlyn and I came to the hospital.. and why? Because I knew what he did..'

Me:' Caitlyn told you?'

Shane:' actually he did.. he said he worked on breaking us apart and then Caitlyn filled in the blanks!'

Me:' okay.. so now you know everything?' shane nodded then he leaned close and kissed me, it was a passionate kiss, I missed the feeling of his lips on mine!

Me:' but still.. no song with you guys!'

Shane:' fine! Can you write a song for us atleast?'

Me:' are you serious?' shane nodded. I looked at nate and Jason to know if they were okay with it.

Nate:' I think this is a great idea!'

Jason:' me too!' I smiled.

Me:' I'd be honored!' they all smiled at me. It was getting dark so I had to go home, shane wanted me to stay with them at mr. brown's house but I couldn't leave my mum by herself, he understood. He drove me home, then I knocked on the door, my mum opened then she saw shane.

Mum:' hey baby girl.. is everything okay?'

Me:' yeah.. shane and I .. are back together!'

Mum:' finally!' I laughed. Shane hugged her.

Shane:' I am really sorry mrs. Connie!'

Mum:' it's okay shane.. just take good care of her, okay?' shane nodded. Then we both got inside, my mum made us something to eat then she went to sleep. We sat and talked, trying to catch up.

Shane:' so what are you going to do tomorrow?'

Me:' I have to go to the hospital..'

Shane:' why? Are you okay?'

Me:' yeah yeah! I go to the cancer section and help them as much as I can.. especially kids..' shane smiled at me, then he kissed me on the cheek.

Shane:' can I come with?'

Me:' do you really want to?'

Shane:' yeah.. it would be fun!'

Me:' sure! Okay when we wake up tomorrow we are heading to the hospital!' shane smiled. Then we slowly went to sleep, on the couch, in the living room.

The next morning I woke up and shane was still asleep, I smiled at his sight, kissed him on the cheek, and went to my room to change. I wore a purple dress and a white jacket, then I wore white flip flops, put my hair in a ponytail and went back downstairs. Shane was waking up, rubbing his eyes, I kissed him then I went to the kitchen, made us 2 sandwiches and then we ate on our way to his car. First we had to go to his house so that he could change too, he wore black jeans and a green t-shirt, then he drove to the hospital.

We walked holding hands to the cancer section, then I knocked on the door and came in, the kids ran to me and hugged me tight.

Me:' hey guys! I missed you!' then I kissed them all, shane was smiling at me not knowing what he should do. Then I kissed a girl called paige, she was 3 years old with leukemia.

Me to paige:' paige go say hi to shane!' she nodded in refuse, she was shy, but she always said that she was a big fan. So I caught shane's hand and pulled him towards her.

Me to shane:' shane this is paige! She is a big fan of yours!' shane smiled then he bent on his knees infront of her.

Shane:' hey paige, I am shane!' she was smiling with tears in her eyes, he wiped them away.

Paige:' I love you..' shane looked at me with a smile. Shane kissed her hands.

Shane:' I love you too..' then shane stood up and carried her, we both sat with the kids, playing, laughing, and singing. Shane sang one of his songs and he found paige singing along, that really touched him. Then we sang stand by me, and somewhere over the rainbow, they always sang along, but paige's voice was really special, she could REALLY sing! It was time for the kids to get back to their rooms, and take a nap, they hugged us and I told them I will come back in a couple of days, then they left. I looked at shane and he walked towards me and hugged me.

Shane:' thank you..'

Me:' for what?'

Shane:' for showing me this.. this is amazing mitchie!'

Me:' I know.. I just feel really sorry for those kids and I try to help them as much as I can.. those are such an inspiration!' shane nodded.

Me:' shane?'

Shane:' yeah..'

Me:' how about paige sings with you on stage someday?'

Shane:' I never thought about that..'

Me:' she is really talented, and she loves you shane! And her condition… it's bad.. so it would mean the world to her!'

Shane:' okay mitchie.. we'll set it up with Jason and nate and we'll see!' I hugged him, then we walked together out of the hospital, shane took me to his house to have dinner, he told Jason and nate about the whole paige idea.

Nate:' that's a great idea!' I was so happy.

Shane:' okay guys, we'll set it up for next week, a concert where we will bring all the kids from the hospital and paige will sing with us on stage, and then we'll donate all the profits for the cancer sention in the hospital!'

Me:' I love you so much shane!' he kissed me. Then he drove me home and went back to his house. I went to my room, and I took my notebook and started writing a song. I was inspired by what happened today, so I really liked it.


	27. Chapter 27

The week passed so fast, and now it was time for the concert! I was so nervous! I wore a red dress with black heels and a black shawl, then I curled my hair and put make up. I was waiting backstage for shane, nate and Jason, with the song in my hand ready to show it to them. And I was looking from behind the curtain to see if the kids were here yet. Then I found shane hugging me from behind, I smiled at him, then I hugged nate and Jason!

Shane:' WOW! You look… beautiful!'

Me:' thanks shane..' then Jason whistled, I laughed.

Nate:' you look amazing mitchie!' I smiled at him.

Shane:' so what do you have in your hand?'

Me:' the song.. the one you asked me to write..'

Shane:' let me see it!'

Me:' I don't know!' shane snatched it from my hand and read it, then he handed it to Jason and nate. Mitchie was staring at me without saying anything..

Me:' you don't like it, huh?' shane was still looking at me, then he hugged me tight.

Shane:' it is… I can't even put it in words! It is so beautiful mitchie!' I smiled.

Nate:' oh my God mitchie! It is perfect!'

Me:' I am glad you liked it!' Jason hugged me too. Then I saw the kids running towards me backstage, paige hugged me and then shane, and so did the rest. Then I took them all to their seats, and I sat next to them, then shane, nate and Jason came on stage, and all the audience started screaming and cheering.

Shane:' hello guys! We are connection 3! This concert is very special for us because we dedicate it to our little friends over there..' and a spot light was on the kids.

Shane:' and the song we are singing now is written by a very special girl, mitchie, but if you want to hear it, you have to tell her to come and sing with us!' I kept nodding in refuse. But then the whole audience kept screaming my name!

Audience:' mitchie! Mitchie! Mitchie!' then I found shane leaving the stage and walking towards me, then he gave me his hand, I took it and he pulled me behind him to the stage.

Me:' I DON'T want to sing!'

Shane:' the audience wants what the audience wants!' then I was on stage next to shane. Then Jason started playing on his guiltar.

Shane:' when I see that spark in your eyes

After the fall it is my rise

When I see your bright face

It is always my saving grace' then he looked at me, I took a deep breath and closed my eyes.

Me:' you are so strong

You are the light in the middle of the fog

You inspire me

Hope in you I always see'

Shane:' so I'll be with you.. no matter what

Whether the sky is blue.. or grey..

By your side… I'll always stay

Don't be scared.. you are not alone

Don't feel afraid.. you will never be on your own'

Me:' beginning or end..

My love to you I'll send

You'll always give me hope

In your arms I'll always elope'

Shane:' yeah in your arms.. I'll always elope' then the whole audience started clapping and shane kissed me on the cheek, nate patted on my back and Jason winked at me. Then I looked at paige and she had teary eyes, I sent her an air kiss.

Me:' thank you all.. now paige? Can you please come with us here on stage?' she smiled, shane and I walked towards her and shane carried her to the stage, he brought two chairs, one for him and the other for paige, she sat next to him.

Shane:' now we'll sing tomorrow, and paige here will sing along.' She smiled. They sang the song and paige was a super star up there! She was amazing and she had great presence! Everybody fell in love with her. After she finished the song she looked at me and I hugged her, then we walked together back to our seat while connection 3 finished up the concert.

After the concert was over, we went backstage again. I kissed shane.

Me:' great concert guys!'

Nate:' great song mitchie!' I smiled. Then I got in the car with shane and the kids got into the tour bus and went back to the hospital. As we were walking fans would stop us and ask for shane's autograph, but then I found a little girl walking towards me and handing me a notebook.

Girl:' can you please sign here?' I looked at shane with a smile on my face, he winked at me. I bent on my knees infront of her.

Me:' what's your name sweetheart?'

Girl:' Emily..'

Me:' dear Emily, you are a beautiful girl, never give up, and always dream! Love, mitchie' then I handed her the notebook, she hugged me and I hugged back then she left. I got back into the car and shane drove us to my house. He stayed over that night. As we were falling asleep my phone rang, it was Caitlyn. When I picked up I heard screaming!

Me:' Caitlyn! Calm down! I am deaf!'

Caitlyn:' oh my God mitchie! I saw the concert! You were incredible!' I laughed.

Caitlyn:' and mitchie? There are videos of you all over youtube and it got over 1000000 hits!'

Me:' what? No way!'

Caitlyn:' I swear! I am so proud of you mitchie!'

Me:' thanks Caitlyn!' then we hung up. I was shocked.

Shane:' what is it?'

Me:' Caitlyn.. said.. there are videos of me all over youtube and.. they got over 1,000,000 hits!' shane hugged me.

Shane:' I have always believed in you!' I smiled. Then I ran and brought my laptop, then I went on youtube and searched "connection 3 concert" I found videos of my performance with them, comments on the videos like " great vocals! She should be a star!" or " she is amazing! She totally owned the night! She is also very beautiful!" I was looking at shane not believing what I was seeing, I had teary eyes, this was my wildest dream! Then I called on my mum, she came running and I showed her the videos and she was so proud. She looked at me, then she hugged me.

Mum:' your father would have been so proud..' I finally let a tear escape from my eye. When my mum pulled back she wiped it away and kissed my forehead, then she went back to her room.

I put my head on shane's shoulder and rapped my arms around him, he was playing in my hair.

Me:' you know who taught me how to sing?'

Shane:' your father?'

Me:' yeah.. he always sang to me when I was little.. he was.. is my hero!' shane kissed my forehead.

Shane:' well mitchie.. if I were him.. I would be honored to have a daughter like you..' I smiled then I closed my eyes and went to sleep, and so did shane. The next morning I woke up, and woke shane up too, then I went to change, I wore a blue shirt and a white jacket and my blue jeans, then I straightened my hair and went back downstairs. Then my phone rang.

Me:' hello?'

Caller:' hey! I hope you know who I am this time!'

Me:' tes.. what do you want?'

Tess:' I saw you last night.. at the concert.. the song wasn't so bad!'

Me:' really?'

Tess:' yeah really.. well anyways maybe we'll make a duet together someday!' I giggled but tried to hide it.

Tess:' yeah right!' that time I laughed.

Tess:' so you and shane.. are together?'

Me:' yes tess.. we are!'

Tess:' I don't understand why but whatever!'

Me:' tess!'

Tess: 'fine fine! See you later!'

Me:' bye' then I hung up. I walked to the kitchen surprised to see my mum and shane making breakfast together.

Shane:' good morning!' I laughed because he was covered in flour.

Me:' good morning chef!' he laughed and so did my mum.

Me:' you'll NEVER believe who has just called me!'

Shane:' who?'

Me:' tess!'

Shane:' what? What did she say?'

Me:' she was actually not mean! She said that the song wasn't so bad!'

Shane:' it's a miracle!' I giggled.

Me:' then she asked if we were together..' he looked up at me.

Me:' are we?'

Shane:' I can't believe you are asking! Mitchie I am already cooking with your mum!' I laughed.

Me:' yeah I thought so too, that's why I told her we were together!' he smiled. We ate breakfast then we went to his house to take nate and Jason because the three of them had an interview with david laterman. I went with him just for support.

David:' connection 3! Jason, shane and nate! You guys had a concert last night which by the way was unbelievably great! But I need to know.. who was that anonymous girl who stole the spot light?' shane smiled.

Shane:' that would be mitchie torres, my girlfriend!'

David:' WOW! Girlfriend huh?'

Shane:' yeah she is.. amazing!'

David:' I agree.. so she is the one who wrote the song you sang yesterday?'

Nate:' yes she did..'

David:' well that song was beautiful so she must be very talented! And her vocals! Where did that come from?' I laughed and so did shane.

Shane:' yeah she is really talented!'

David:' maybe she will be with us someday..'

Shane:' yeah, or today!' my mouth dropped.

David:' don't tell me she is here!'

Shane:' she is!' so shane came to me and pulled me from my hand to the stage with david, david came to me and kissed me on the cheek.

David:' don't be scared.. I don't bite!' I smiled. I sat next to shane and nate.

David:' so you are the famous mitchie torres!'

Me:' I am hardly famous but yeah.. I am..'

David:' how long have you and shane been dating?'

Me:' well.. about 2 months or so..'

David:' wait.. but when he was in camp he was with tess, am I right?' I looked at shane because I didn't know what to say.

Shane:' no.. that was.. a mistake! Mitchie is the one who stole my heart.. and she is the only one for me!' then he took my hand and kissed it so the audience said 'awww' I laughed.

David:' well that's it for today! Unless.. if miss mitchie torres would like to sing us something?'

Me:' oh no! maybe connection 3!'

Shane:' no come on mitchie!' and he pushed me to where the band was.

Me:' okay.. what would you like to hear?' I heard different suggestions, from whitney Houston to miley cyrus, but I decided to sing keep holding on by avril lavigne. I sang from my soul! That song was really special to me! My voice cracked at the end of the song, but I kept going, when I was done I fell to the ground crying, then shane ran towards me and helped me stand, he pulled me into a tight hug.

Shane:' are you okay?'

Me:' yeah… I am..' shane kept hugging me. Then david walked towards us and put his hand on my back.

David:' are you okay sweetheart?' I nodded.

Shane:' she is fine.. she just has been a lot this year..' david nodded.

David:' but mitchie.. you did a great job!' I wiped my tears, forced a smile.

Me:' thank you..' then he left. Nate and Jason came to check on me, I forced a smile at them. A while later we all left, we all got into shane's car.


	28. Chapter 28

Then my phone rang, it was my mum.

Me:' hey..'

Mum:' mitchie, honey, are you okay?'

Me:' yeah.. why?'

Mum:' I saw your interview with latterman.. that song.. you sang it perfectly mitchie!'

Me:' thank you mum.. but I am really fine..'

Mum:' okay baby girl.. what are you going to do now?'

Me:' I really miss caitlyn, so I am thinking to call her and meet her somewhere!'

Mum:' okay honey.. be safe..'

Me:' I will..' then I hung up.

Me:' shane, can you please drive me to caitlyn's house?'

Shane:' yeah sure! We have a radio interview next, then I'll come to pick you up, okay?'

Me:' okay shane!' he drove me to caitlyn's house, I kissed him and then I left. I knocked on her door, she opened, I hugged her then we both went to her room.

Caitlyn:' I miss you..'

Me:' me too Caitlyn! So what is up with you?'

Caitlyn:' nothing much! Hanging out with barron and sander most of the time!'

Me:' oh good! I haven't seen them in a while!'

Caitlyn:' yeah you have been busy..'

Me:' yeah.. wait, are you mad at me?'

Caitlyn:' no why?'

Me:' because you sound like you are mad at me for being a bit busy lately!'

Caitlyn:' a bit? Mitchie I haven't seen you in a week or so!'

Me:' I am sorry Caitlyn! I just have a lot on my plate right now!'

Caitlyn:' whatever! You are a celebrity now so who cares?'

Me:' I do! I care Caitlyn! I am sorry Caitlyn! I would never ignore you even if I became a diva! You are my sister Caitlyn! Nobody will ever take your place!'

Caitlyn:' I know.. I am sorry.. I was just scared..'

Me:' well don't be!' then I hugged her. We talked for a while about shane and singing and all that happened. Then shane called me.

Shane:' hey mitchie!'

Me:' hey shane, are you coming?'

Shane:' yeah.. I'll be here in 10!'

Me:' okay shane.. bye' then I hung up. I went to the living room, and waited for shane, when I saw his car I hugged Caitlyn and told her to sleep over at my house the next day, she agreed. I got into shane's car and kissed his cheek.

Shane:' it's still early, so what now?'

Me:' we still haven't thanked the kids from the hospital!'

Shane:' great idea! Lets go!' then he drove us to the hospital. We walked together till we got to where the kids were, they hugged us and they were so happy to see us! Which made us happy! But something was missing..

Me:' hey guys! Where is paige?' then a nurse came and whispered in my ear.

Nurse:' she died on the day of the concert.. when she came back here..' I gasped, so shane came and sat next to me.

Shane:' what is it?'

Me:' paige.. she is.. dead!'

Shane:' oh my God! When?'

Me:' on the same day of the concert shane.. just when she got back here!' shane took me outside because I couldn't cry infront of the kids, then he hugged me tight.

Shane:' at least she could make her dream come true..'

Me:' she was 3 shane! 3!'

Shane:' I know.. but you knew she was ill.. and at least she is in a better place now.. it is better for her..' I nodded. Then as shane was holding me I found a woman wearing black leaving a room with a box full of things, I walked towards her and shane came with me.

Me:' hi..'

Woman:' do I know you?'

Me:' I am mitchie torres.. I was wondering.. are you paige's mother?'

Woman:' yes..'

Me:' I was her friend.. I took her to the concert the other day..'

Woman:' I know who you are.. she talked about you a lot..'

Me:' she did?' the woman nodded.

Me:' she is a very special girl.. I'll never forget her..' the woman nodded, then she started crying, I couldn't stop myself from hugging her, she hugged back, then she dropped the box so shane carried it. I helped her sit on a chair, and I was still holding her.

Woman:' she always dreamt of.. being a big star.. she loved singing and performing!'

Me:' I know.. she told me..'

Woman:' she didn't get to graduate.. or go to prom.. or marry.. or have children.. or have her first boyfriend.. she was 3!'

Me:' she did go to her first concert.. and she made her dream come true.. she sang with her idol and everybody fell in love with her! She was an amazing girl and she will never be forgotten..'

The woman nodded. But I kept holding her until she could let it all out. A while later she pulled herself together and forced a smile.

Woman:' I am sorry I fell apart like that..' I smiled.

Me: ' don't worry about it mrs…'

Woman:' mrs. Taylor..'

Me:' nice to meet you mrs. Taylor..' she smiled, then she looked at shane who smiled at her, she tried to take the box but shane stopped her.

Shane:' we'll walk you to your car..'

Mrs. Taylor:' thank you..' then we walked her to her car, she hugged me and shane and thanked us again, then as she was getting into her car she looked at me.

Mrs. Taylor:' mitchie, shane, how about you two come to the funeral tomorrow? It would mean so much to me!'

Me:' of course mrs. Taylor..' she smiled.

Shane:' we'll be there..' then she got into her car and drove away. Then we walked to shane's car, the drive was silent, I didn't feel like talking.

Me:' shane.. can you please take me to the graveyards?'

Shane:' now? It is late mitchie..'

Me:' I know.. I know shane.. but I just.. I need to talk to him!'

Shane:' okay mitchie..' then he drove me to the graveyards, when we got there I got out of the car and so did he.

Me:' you don't have to come with me.. you can go home..'

Shane:' I am not leaving you here alone!' I forced a smile, he held my hand until we got to my dad's grave. I sat infront of it, and shane stood next to me holding my hand.

Me:' hey daddy… I missed you.. daddy an awful thing happened today! Paige.. that sweet 3 year old.. passed away yesterday! She was… amazing dad! I hate cancer! It took away so many people from me! It doesn't make sense daddy!' I was crying hard so shane sat next to me and pulled me into a tight hug, I hugged back, a while later he helped to his car. My phone rang and when I heard the ringtone I started crying again, it was " I want to hold your hand" glee version, so shane helped me into his car then he took my phone and answered.

Shane:' hello?'

Caller:' shane?'

Shane:' yeah! Mrs. Connie..'

Mum:' where is mitchie?'

Shane:' she is with me.. don't worry.. '

Mum:' then why isn't she answering the phone?'

Shane:' something happened.. I'll tell you when we are home.. ok?'

Mum:' okay shane.. I am waiting for you guys..' then she hung up. Shane drove me back to the house, but he came inside with me, my mum opened the door and hugged me, I hugged back.

Me:' I'll go to sleep now.. goodnight..' and I walked to my room without even saying goodbye to shane, he turned around with a sigh but my mum stopped him.

Mum:' sleep over shane! She might need you..' shane nodded. He sat on the couch and my mum sat beside him.

Mum:' so what happened shane?'

Shane:' there was this girl.. paige… she had leukemia and she was 3.. she passed away on the day of the concert..'

Mum:' oh my.. that is why mitchie is so sad.. mitchie really loved paige, she reminded her of Ashley..' shane nodded.

Mum:' well thank you for taking care of her shane..'

Shane:' sure mrs. Connie!' she hugged him then she went to her room, shane laid back on the couch but he couldn't sleep. He kept thinking about paige, her smile, her voice, her hope, her love to live, she was an amazing girl!

He stayed like that for hours, then he realized the sun was coming up, and it was morning, he rubbed his eyes, then he went to the bathroom and washed his face. Then he decided to check on me, he knocked on my door then he came in, he found me, on bed, awake but tears streaming down my face. He sat on the bed next to me, he played in my hair, then he kissed me forehead.

Shane:' you didn't sleep?' I nodded in refuse.

Shane:' if it hurts that much.. we can not go to the funeral..'

Me:' no shane.. we will go… and we will be there for mrs. Taylor.. and for paige..' shane leaned closer and hugged me from behind, his arms raped around my waist, his breath in my hair, I fitted perfectly in his arms. We stayed like that for a while, then my mum yelled saying that breakfast was ready. So shane got up and I sat properly, then I went into the bathroom to change. I wore a black skirt, with a black shirt, I straightened my hair and wore my black shoes, then I walked out of the bathroom, shane smiled at me and I forced a smile back, we walked downstairs together, my mum made breakfast.

Mum:' good morning guys.. I made breakfast!'

Me:' thanks mum.. but I don't feel like eating..' she sighed.

Shane:' me neither..' then I kissed my mum and she hugged shane then we left. The drive was quite, until shane's phone rang.

Shane:' hey nate..'

Nate:' hey shane! Where are you?'

Shane:' I am with mitchie.. we are going to a funeral..'

Nate:' whose funeral?'

Shane:' a girl from those who came from the hospital.. she was 3..' when I heard that a tear escaped from my eyes.

Nate:' oh man.. how is mitchie?'

Shane:' not good man..'

Nate:' okay.. if you guys need anything call me!'

Shane:' okay..' then he hung up. We got to the church where they were having the funeral, mrs. Taylor was sitting crying, so I walked towards her and hugged her, then she hugged shane too, we sat next to her.

Mrs. Taylor:' mitchie.. can you please say a few words?'

Me:' me?'

Mrs. Taylor:' please…' I nodded, then I walked to the stand, I took a deep breath and tried to pull myself together.

Me:' hello everybody.. I am mitchie torres.. I knew paige from the hospital.. that girl had a spirit that could take your breath away and make you fall in love with her at first sight! Even though she was going through hell, she always smiled.. I am 18 and she was 3.. but she taught me so much.. paige and I had something in common.. we both love music.. so one day, I took her with all her friends to connection 3's concert.. she was so happy! Shane even let her sing a song with them, and as expected, she stole the lights, and everybody fell in love with the 3 year old diva!.. you see.. I know a thing or two about loss.. and pain.. I lost my younger sister about a year and a half ago.. then I lost my father about one month ago.. both died of cancer.. so I know how hard it is to feel incomplete! Like something is missing.. but paige left us great memories and life lessons! So she will always live inside of us.. her smile will always be infront of us.. we'll always remember paige as a girl who fought hard.. as a girl who never lost hope.. as a girl who loved to smile no matter what! And that is the girl we are going to remember..'


	29. Chapter 29

I said what I could, then I left the stand, mrs. Taylor hugged me crying.

Mrs. Taylor:' thank you mitchie.. so much..' I nodded, then shane hugged me tight too. I sat next to him fighting the tears, trying to remove that picture of my dad and Ashley from my mind, trying to stay strong, but it was getting really hard. A few hours later the funeral was over, and shane was driving me home, I was sitting there, staring infront of me, I didn't even realize I was crying until I felt tears falling on my hands, when shane saw that I was crying he pulled over. He just sat there staring at me, trying to figure out what to do, he put his arms on my shoulder.

Shane:' mitchie..'

Me:' yeah..'

Shane:' what can I do?'

Me:' hold me?' shane came closer and hugged me tight, I always felt safe in his arms, I could let it all out, a while later I pulled myself together and we continued our drive home, when we got to my house, I left the car and walked towards the house, shane was behind me, suddenly 7 reporters or so blocked our way, yelling questions like " WHERE ARE YOU COMING FROM? WHAT ABOUT TESS? HOW COME YOU SAID TESS WAS PERFECT THEN YOU SAID THE SAME ABOUT MITCHIE?" I felt like I was out of breath, it was getting really crowded, suddenly I tripped and fell to the ground, shane pushed them away and then he carried me into the house. He put me on the couch and took my hand which was bleeding, he brought me a wet towel and tenderly wiped away the blood, he was really worried about me. A while later we heard a knock on the door, it was nate, when he saw the towels full of blood and the scratches on my face and the cut above my eyebrow he ran towards me and bent on his knees.

Nate:' God mitchie! What happened?' I was still shaken up from the funeral, so I could barely talk.

Shane:' paparazzi man!'

Nate:' damn it! Are you okay mitchie?'

Me:' yeah… I guess..' but tears were escaping my eyes and I couldn't stop them, and I was always looking nowhere in specific, as if I am lost, in a different universe, as if I am here in body but not in soul, seeing me like that scared shane and nate, they didn't know how to help, or what to do. So as shane was cleaning my cuts, nate moved his hands along my face trying to make me feel that I wasn't alone, like there was somebody with me, who cares about me. But all I could see was paige.. Ashley.. my dad.. too many losses.. too much pain.

After shane made sure there was nothing serious he carried me to my room, he put me on my bed, kissed my forehead and left me. He went downstairs to find nate walking back and forth and looking really worried.

Nate:' there is something wrong!'

Shane:' I know.'

Nate:' what are we going to do?'

Shane:' I have no idea nate! But I think we need all the help we can get, so call uncle brown and Jason and I'll call the rest and tell them to meet us here'

Nate:' on it!' they called everybody and in half an hour they were at my house, shane made them sit in the kitchen which is the furthest room away from mine.

Shane:' okay guys.. today mitchie had an awful day.. she went to the funeral of a 3 year old girl named paige.. she had leukemia and died on the day on the concert.. that girl reminded mitchie of Ashley.. which made it even harder on her to know she is dead.. it is like her sister died all over again! Then when we came home we were attacked by paparazzi and she fell on the ground.. she ended up with a few scratches and a few cuts.. she is okay physically.. but emotionally.. she is not! No matter how strong she appears mitchie needs us around her! She is really shaken up! She is losing hope.. and she feels lonely.. she cries all day long guys! She seriously needs our help!'

Caitlyn:' you know I am in for anything that would help mitchie!'

Barron and sander:' me too!'

Margaret:' I am with you..'

Mr. brown and Jason:' count us in!' shane nodded, even though he tried to force a smile, he couldn't. nate made them juice and they drank while thinking of ways to help me through this tough time. A while later shane excused himself and came to my room to check on me, I wasn't asleep, I was sitting infront of the window, looking out at the world, trying to find ashley's star in the sky, and maybe my dad's too.

Shane:' why aren't you sleeping mitchie?'

Me:' I can't..' shane sat next to me on bed, and put his arm around my waist.

Shane:' why?'

Me:' I don't know shane… I am.. scared..' shane sighed.

Shane:' of what?'

Me:' of what I'll see in my dreams.. and then in real life…'

Shane:' what do you mean mitchie? You have nightmares?' I nodded.

Shane:' about what?'

Me:' I relive my dad's and ashley's pain.. I am back at their funerals.. and at the hospital with them.. I feel my pain and theirs at the same time.. I won't go to sleep..'

Shane:' but you have to mitchie.. you need to rest..'

Me:' I can't… I won't..' all the time I was talking to shane but my eyes pinned outside the window. Shane put my head on his shoulder, and then he laid back, so that we both are laying on the bed.

Shane:' close your eyes and I am with you..'

Me:' shane.. I don't want to..'

Shane:' I won't leave you mitchie.. until you wake up the next morning.. I won't leave you..' I nodded, then I tried closing my eyes, I slowly went to sleep. But as expected I had a nightmare, me, my dad, and Ashley, at the hospital, they are both screaming in pain and I don't know what to do, I don't know who to help, suddenly their heart monitors turn into a flat line I run to my dad to wake him up but he doesn't, then to Ashley, but it was too late, I yell and scream at the top of my lungs but no words come out, I open my mouth and nothing comes out. I was screaming in my sleep, sweating, crying, shane was downstairs with my mum and nate, then he heard my screaming, he ran to my room and kept shaking me until I woke up, he pulled me into a tight hug.

Shane:' calm down mitchie.. I am with you..' I didn't answer, I was out of breath. A while later when I pulled myself together but I was still crying.

Me:' I thought.. you said you won't… leave me..'

Shane:' I am sorry mitchie..' but I interrupted him.

Me:' sorry? You promised… and you left me…'

Shane:' I had to mitchie! Your mum…' again I interrupted him.

Me:' I don't care what is your excuse! You left me to face this alone! You always leave me when I need you the most!' at that point I was standing facing him, yelling while crying, and shane was looking down, I knew my words hurt him, but I was in so much pain.

Shane:' I am.. sorry..'

Me:' I hate you shane!' he looked at me, shocked, horrified, tears already forming in his eyes.

Shane:' you.. you hate me?'

Me:' get out..'

Shane:' what?'

Me:' GET OUT SHANE!' he stood up and walked towards me, he knew if he walked out it would be over between us, and if he walked out he would be proving me right, he leaves when I need him the most, so he kept approaching me and I was stepping away, then I had nowhere to go, I hit the wall, shane was standing so close to me, then he pulled me into a tight hug, I kept hitting him, kicking him, but he never let me go, I was sobbing.

Shane:' I am sorry mitchie… so sorry…' and he kissed my head. I cried into him for a while, then he sat me down on the bed, still holding me, he looked at me and he found me asleep, he laid back with me holding tight to him, and he kissed my head again.

Shane:' I will never leave you again…'


	30. Chapter 30

I slept for about 3 hours, then I woke up and shane was holding me, I slowly stood up so that I won't wake him, then I walked to the bathroom, I brushed my teeth, and took a quick shower, then I wore a green dress and a jeans jacket, I put my hair into a ponytail then I went out of the bathroom and into the room to find shane still sleeping, I kissed him on the cheek then I went downstairs. As I was walking down the stairs, I found nate running towards me and carrying me. I laughed.

Me:' what is wrong?'

Nate:' I was just so worried about you! Thank God you are okay!' I smiled.

Me:' I am fine.. don't worry about me..' then we both walked into the kitchen, my mum hugged me tight making sure I was okay, I was still feeling so much pain, but their love and support made me feel a little bit less lonely, and gave me courage to face that grief.

We were sitting in the kitchen when we heard shane yelling my name, I walked to the stairs, and I found him pulling me into a tight hug.

Shane:' you got me worried sick! Are you okay?'

Me:' yeah I am fine.. are you?' he smiled.

Shane:' I am now..' I smiled back then I gave him a tender kiss on the cheek then we both walked into the kitchen. My mum smiled at both of us, shane sat next to nate and I went to my mum to help her with breakfast. But I saw shane and nate whispering about something.

Shane:' how did she get better all of a sudden?'

Nate:' I don't know.. but I am afraid that she would relapse soon!'

Shane:' oh man! What to do now?'

Me:' okay guys! What are you two whispering about?' shane smiled at me nervously.

Shane:' nothing babe!' I raised my eyebrow and walked towards them.

Me:' you called me babe! You never call me babe except when you are hiding something or when you are nervous!' nate giggled.

Shane:' what? No! I call you babe all the time! I have got nothing to hide!'

Me:' alright "BABE" if you don't want to tell me it's fine.. anyway breakfast is ready..' he gave me a kiss on the cheek, but I didn't even look at him. We ate, shane talked to me, but I didn't answer him. Then shane went to the bathroom to wash his hand, then I found a text on his phone, I was curious, so even if I knew it was wrong, I had to check the text. It was from tess.

Text:' hey shane! I heard from barron and sander that mitchie needs help! I am sorry.. but on the bright side we can be together after we ship her to rehab;) sounds good, huh? Kisses.' A few tears escaped my eyes, and fell on the phone. Shane came from the bathroom, so I wiped away my tears, and put his phone back on the table.

Shane:' thanks for the breakfast babe!' he was trying to say a joke, but to me it wasn't funny, not then.

Shane:' what is wrong?' I was looking into his eyes, tears falling from my eyes, my eyes full of pain.

Shane:' what is it mitchie?'

Me:' I .. am not.. crazy shane..'

Shane:' wait, who said you were?' I pushed the phone towards him, he took it and read the text, then he looked at me, and I moved my head in refuse, then I ran to my room. Shane ran after me, and held my hand, I pulled it away from him.

Me:' shane.. go..'

Shane:' I am not going anywhere!'

Me:' then I will go..' then I walked out of the house. Shane came after me, he tried stopping me, but I kept walking.

Shane:' stop mitchie! Stop it!'

Me:' you stop it shane! Stop lying to me! Stop leaving me when I need you! Stop being so judgmental! Shane, just go away! I don't want to see you again! I am tired! I am tired of all the pain! Go shane.. go!' then I walked as fast as I could away from that place. As I was walking I found myself in front of caitlyn's house, I knocked, and barron opened.

Barron:' hey mitch! We've missed you!'

Me:' yeah me too..'

Barron:' come in!'

Me:' no.. no thank you.. maybe some other time..' then I turned around and left, I didn't feel like having company. I kept walking and walking, I didn't know why, or where to, I felt so lost, and my heart was hurting me badly, I needed shane so bad, but he was the only one I couldn't go to. My phone kept ringing, a lot, mostly nate, but I never answered, I just felt like words were meaningless then, like any word I would say wouldn't be heard.

It was getting really late, and I was getting really tired, I have been crying for hours. So I decided I was going to go to the one person who would never hurt me, who would always be there for me, my dad. I walked to the graveyards, I sat in front of my dad's grave. At first I just cried.

Me:' daddy… daddy God I miss you now.. I wish.. I wish you would have taken me with you… why dad? Why is this happening to me? Everything is so screwed up.. I feel like my whole world is falling apart! And I can't do anything about it! I am choking dad.. I can't.. I can't breathe anymore..' I was sobbing, I couldn't breathe, I started coughing hard. Then as I was sitting there, I felt someone's hand on my shoulder, when I looked up it was nate. I looked back down. He sat next to me.

Nate:' you got us all worried sick!'

Me:' yeah right!' in a sarcastic tone.

Nate:' you did mitchie! Don't you know how much we love you?'

Me:' we who nate? The people who think I am crazy and want to ship me to rehab? Yeah I love you guys too!'

Nate:' what the hell are you talking about? What rehab?'

Me:' did you read the text tess sent to shane?'

Nate:' no..' I stood up, then I looked down at nate.

Me:' read it and you'll understand..' then I walked away, but I was still coughing hard, and I was feeling really dizzy, I almost fell but nate ran towards me and caught me.

Nate:' mitchie! Are you okay?'

Me:' yes I am..' then I continued my walk.

Nate:' let me help you!'

Me:' not anymore nate..' and I was still walking with tears streaming down my face. I didn't want to go home, and I couldn't go to Caitlyn again. I found a small hotel, and I took a room there. I sent my mum a text.

Text:' mum I am fine. Don't worry about me.. but I am not coming home.. not for a while.. I just.. I can't face them now.. I'll handle what I am going through now and I'll be back when I can.. I love you so much mum..' then I went to sleep. I had that horrible nightmare again, but this time shane wasn't with me to wake me up, I had to face it alone. Every night I'd have the same nightmare, and I'd wake up crying and screaming, feeling like my heart is being ripped out of my chest. I cried a lot. And I felt so lonely. I thought about shane all the time, I watched all his interviews, and I kept watching the video of the concert over and over again, it was the best memory I've ever lived, it was the night when my dreams met my reality.

I stayed at that hotel for 2 weeks, not talking to anyone, just texting my mum every once in a while so that she wouldn't freak out. I even stopped visiting my dad because it was the first time they would look for me in it.

One month after I went to that hotel, there was a concert for connection 3, I stayed home, and watched it, shane looked so sad and heart broken, I knew him when he tried to hide his pain, but I always saw through him.

Shane:' hey guys! This is our first concert since that specific concert when we had the kids from the hospital and the.. amazing mitchie torres.. sadly she can't be with us today.. but we won't forget her.. and we won't let her go.. we can't.. so now I'll sing crawling back to you by backstreet boys.' The audience clapped and screamed, then shane and nate started playing on the guitar and drums.

Shane:' everybody knows.. that I was such a fool.. to ever let go of you.. but baby I was wrong.. yeah I know I said we'd be better off alone.. it was time that we moved on.. I know I broke your heart.. I didn't mean to break your heart.. cause baby here I am.. banging on your own front door.. my pride spilled on the floor.. my hands and knees are bruised.. and now I'm crawling back to you.. begging for a second chance.. are you gonna let me in? I was running from the truth.. and now I'm crawling back to you!'

I was crying watching that, I missed shane, I loved shane, but I couldn't let him back in, I was so tired. That night I cried myself to sleep, and I had the same nightmare, it was just as horrible as it always was.

After spending 6 weeks at that hotel, I decided I had to go home, I took a cap, and when I got to my house, I took a deep breath, then I knocked, only to find that shane was the one who opened the door. When he saw me he took a few steps back trying to take it all in, then his eyes were filling up with tears, he ran towards me and hugged me tight lifting me up so that I wouldn't be touching the ground anymore, I hugged back because I missed the safety in his arms.

Shane:' God mitchie! I missed you!' I just hugged him tighter, when he finally put me down he took a good look at me, I was wearing a pink dress and a black jacket, with black heels, and my hair was curly.

Shane:' you look.. beautiful' I smiled. Then I went into the house.

Shane:' they are all in the kitchen!'

Me:' all?' shane nodded. I went to the kitchen. They were talking but when they saw me they stopped talking and just started staring at each other as if wondering " do you see what I see?" I smiled and waved my hand.

Me:' hey everyone!' my mum was so shocked, she stood in her place, with her hand covering her mouth and tears escaping her eyes, while the others ran to me and hugged me tight. First Caitlyn, then nate, then barron and sander together, then mr. brown and Jason, and finally Margaret. When I hugged them all, I walked towards my mum, with a huge smile on my face, she was still pinned in her position. Then I threw myself in her arms and rapped my arms around her tight.

Mum:' my baby girl! I missed you!'

Me:' me too mum! Me too!' we kept hugging for a while, I missed her odor, she always smelled like vanilla. Then we all sat in the living room. Shane was staring at me the WHOLE time, I occasionally looked his way too.

Caitlyn:' so where were you?'

Me:' I was staying at a hotel..'

Mum:' a hotel? For 6 weeks mitchie? Why sweetie?' I sighed.

Me:' because I needed to be alone mum.. because I .. I was really tired.. and I needed to handle it alone..' my mum nodded.

Barron:' we missed you girl!' I giggled.

Me:' I missed you guys too! So what are you up to?'

Jason:' well we have been gathering here every day for the past 6 weeks trying to figure out where you could be..'

Me:' what? Are you guys kidding me?' they all nodded in refuse.

Me:' I don't.. I don't know what to say..'

Sander:' say that the next summer would be normal.. please!' I laughed.

Me:' I'll try..' they all laughed except for shane, who looked so hurt. He excused himself, but I knew I had to follow him.

Me:' are you okay?' he forced a smile at me.

Shane:' 6 weeks mitchie.. 6 weeks..' then he turned around and left, I followed him.

Me:' shane.. I just needed my space..'

Shane:' space? You could have at least told me you were alive mitchie! God damn it! For 6 weeks all I thought about was you!'

Me:' and you think it was so easy for me? Shane you have NO idea what I was going through!'

Shane:' you are right.. I don't.. because you never tell me anything anyway!'

Me:' I didn't tell anyone where I was! Not even my mum!'

Shane:' but I am not fuckin' anyone mitchie!'

Me:' but you are the someone I was trying to avoid!' at that point shane looked at me, so hurt. Then he ran towards me and hugged me tight crying on my shoulder.

Shane:' I missed you..'

Me:' I know shane.. me too..' he cried on my shoulder for a while. Then he pulled back, we sat in the backyard for hours, just talking.

Shane:' so where should we go tomorrow for our date?'

Me:' date?'

Shane:' yeah..'

Me:' shane.. I am not dating you..'

Shane:' why not?'

Me:' shane.. look.. I love you… more than anything.. but I won't date you.. we can be friends.. you can always count on that..'

Shane:' friends?' I nodded.

Shane:' fine mitchie! Have it your way! Goodbye BFF' and he walked away angry. I sighed then I walked back into the house.

Me:' nate.. shane went home.. please talk to him.. and just.. be there for him.. ok?'

Nate:' okay.. but what happened?'

Me:' everything.. he'll tell you.. just take care of him for me..' nate nodded. Then I forced a smile at all of them then I walked to my room. I sat on my bed, looking at a picture we took on the day of the concert, we were so happy back then, but after it everything turned to the worse. Then I closed my eyes, with the picture still in my hand, and I slowly drifted to sleep.


	31. Chapter 31

I was having the same nightmare again, but my ringtone saved me and woke me up, it was when I look at you by miley cyrus, I rubbed my eyes and looked at the caller's identity, it was nate.

Me:' hello?'

Nate:' mitchie.. has shane come to your house?'

Me:' no nate, I don't think so..'

Nate:' okay, sorry I woke you, bye'

Me:' wait nate! What happened?' nate sighed.

Nate:' shane hasn't come home yet! We are calling him and his phone is shut down!' I looked at the time and it was 3 am.

Me:' oh my God! Okay nate! I am coming to your house now!'

Nate:' what? Are you crazy? It's 3 am!'

Me:' I know nate! But this is shane! I am coming!' and I hung up before he could argue me again. I wore my green shirt and my blue jeans, then I put my hair into a ponytail, I took with me my white jacket just in case, and I ran out of the house and to shane's house. I knocked and nate quickly opened up. I hugged him then we both walked inside, Jason was giving me angry glares.

Me:' okay guys, tell me where you looked..'

Nate:' we looked here, and at the studio.. where else should we look?'

Me:' the graveyards!'

Nate:' what? Why?'

Me:' shane once told me that his grandma was his best friend.. so I think we should look there too..'

Nate:' okay, I'll go now!'

Me:' but I need someone with a car to come with me, I have an idea..'

Mr. brown:' okay, there is me or Jason!'

Me:' but someone has to stay here.. just in case!'

Nate:' okay, I'll go to the graveyards, Jason goes with mitchie and uncle brown stays here!'

Jason:' I don't want to go with mitchie!'

Nate:' Jason!'

Me:' no, it's fine nate.. okay Jason, you blame me for this, but when I disappeared for 6 weeks did my mum blame shane? No she didn't! I guess this says something, huh?' then I turned to nate.

Me:' nate you go as planned, and I will take a cap to wherever I am going!'

Nate:' but mitchie..'

Me:' nate! It is okay! If you find him, call me' nate nodded, he looked at Jason angrily then we both left. Nate ran to the graveyards and I walked for a while until I could find a cap, since it was almost 4 am, it was almost impossible, but I was thinking about that, I only thought about shane. I was walking when I heard a car's horn, I looked back and it was Jason.

Jason:' get in.. I am sorry..' I got in his car without even looking his way.

Jason:' where to?'

Me:' camp..' then Jason drove. It was quiet for a while, I didn't feel like fighting with Jason, so he was the one who broke the silence.

Jason:' so.. I really am sorry..'

Me:' okay..'

Jason:' I know it is not your fault.. I am just worried about him..'

Me:' and you think I am not? Jason.. you have no idea how scared I am right now!' Jason nodded.

Jason:' okay.. you accept my apology?'

Me:' okay..' Jason smiled at me, I smiled back. Then he continued the ride. When we got there, we took 2 flashlights and walked into camp, it was dark, and silent, it was very scary. We called on shane as loud as we could. We looked in all classes, he wasn't there, then I remembered, the lake. I walked towards the lake and Jason followed me. We found shane asleep right in front of the lake, where he sang for me for the first time. My eyes filled up with tears, and I fell next to him and hugged him tight, I was so scared for him. Then he started waking up.

Shane:' mitchie..' I forced a smile wiping away my tears.

Me:' you got us all worried..' shane then looked up and saw Jason who hit him on the head.

Jason:' stupid! Why didn't you tell us where you were?' he then stood up and I stood up too.

Shane:' how did you know I was here?' Jason signaled at me, so shane looked my way.

Shane:' you?' I nodded.

Me:' are you okay?' shane nodded.

Me:' okay.. can someone please drive me home?' Jason giggled, then we all walked to the cars.

Shane:' come with me?'

Me:' no.. it's okay.. I'll go with Jason..'

Shane:' playing on the third brother now too?' I looked at him disgusted, then I looked at Jason, he had a look in his eyes that said sorry.

Me:' I'll walk home Jason..'

Jason:' what? It is hundreds of miles away!'

Me:' it's okay.. I'll take a cap when I am tired.. bye..' then I walked away without even looking at shane. But as I was walking, I heard him running after me, then he pulled me from my arm.

Shane:' I am sorry!' I pushed him away.

Me:' you always are..' then I walked away, tears started streaming down my face, I felt so.. so disappointed.. I was worried about him.. and this is what he says to me? My thoughts were interrupted by my phone ringing, it was nate.

Me:' nate, we found him..'

Nate:' oh thank God! Can I talk to him?'

Me:' hmm, I am not with them..'

Nate:' them? You mean Jason and shane?'

Me:' yeah..'

Nate:' then where are you?'

Me:' I am walking home..'

Nate:' walking? From where exactly?'

Me:' camp..'

Nate:' camp? Mitchie it is hundreds of miles away! Are you crazy?'

Me:' nate, it's fine, I am fine, everything is fine..'

Nate:' it doesn't seem like it.. look uncle brown will come and pick you up..'

Me:' no need nate!'

Nate:' mitchie, no argument! He will move now..'

Me:' okay, thanks..' then he hung up. About 45 minutes later, I found mr. brown's car, I got in it and he gave me a hug, then when I looked at the back seat I found nate, Jason and shane.

Me:' I am sorry mr. brown.. I can't take this ride..' then I opened the door and left, I walked but then I found shane, nate and Jason all following me. Shane caught my hand and turned me around to face him.

Shane:' mitchie come on! Get in the car!'

Me:' shane.. first, let me go, and second, won't you think that I am playing on mr. brown too?' then I pulled my arm and walked.

Nate:' mitchie, it is a very long walk! Come with us, you don't have to talk to shane, or anyone really, just get in the car.'

Me:' nate.. I can't.. not anymore..'

Shane:' fine! Then I'll walk and you get in the car!'

Me:' what?'

Shane:' you heard me.. if you don't want to go with us because of me then I won't get in the car with you..'

Me:' I won't let you do that..'

Shane:' it is your choice..' I walked towards him, got so close to his body.

Me:' I don't do choices shane, remember?' then I turned back around and continued walking.

I found mr. brown's car walking right next to me, it was so slow to keep up with my steps, I didn't even look their way. Then my phone rang, it was my mum.

Me:' hey mum..'

Mum:' where are you mitchie?'

Me:' I was at camp.. and now I am coming home..'

Mum:' camp? Why?'

Me:' I'll tell you everything when I am home..'

Mum:' why are you gasping?'

Me:' because I am walking mum..'

Mum:' you are walking home? From camp?'

Me:' aha..'

Mum:' mitchie torres! Have you lost your mind?'

Me:' no mum.. I just.. I can't find a ride!'

Mum:' what about mr. brown?'

Me:' what about him?'

Mum:' call him..'

Me:' mum, please let me go now and I'll tell you everything later! Please!'

Mum:' fine mitchie.. bye' and I hung up. I was crying, but I tried to hide it as much as I could, but crying made it even harder to breathe, so I started coughing hard. After a while I was coughing so hard, that I bent putting my hands on my knees trying to take some air in. the car stopped and they all ran towards me.

Shane:' mitchie! Are you okay?' I nodded because I couldn't talk. But then I coughed again causing me to fall on my knees, so shane carried me, put me in the back seat, locked the doors and mr. brown drove.

Shane:' why are you coughing so hard?'

Me:' no.. nothing..'

Nate:' it happened to her once before, on the day she decided to disappear.'

Shane:' okay, but why mitchie?'

Me:' I .. I don't.. know..'

Shane:' we'll take you to the hospital!'

Me:' no! no hospitals shane!'

Shane:' okay.. calm down mitchie.. what should we do now?'

Me:' nothing.. I'll calm down now..' I closed my eyes and tried taking calm breaths, I drifted to sleep. When I woke up I found myself in shane's room, I rubbed my eyes, and then I walked downstairs. Shane saw me as I was walking down the stairs.

Shane:' how are you feeling?'

Me:' better.. what time is it?'

Shane:' it's 2 pm!'

Me:' shit! I told my mum I was on my way home!'

Shane:' it's okay, I called her.'

Me:' okay.. thanks.. well I will go now..'

Shane:' why?'

Me:' shane.. I have to go home.. take care..' shane nodded, I forced a smile then I left. I was walking home, tears escaping from my eye. When I got to my house, I knocked and my mum opened. She gave me a hug.

Mum:' are you okay?'

Me:' yeah.. yeah I am..' I walked into the living room, I sat with my mum watching TV.

Mum:' so why did you go to camp?'

Me:' well.. nate called me saying that shane didn't return home.. so I went with Jason to look for him at camp..'

Mum:' hmmm, and why were you walking home?'

Me:' mum.. it doesn't matter anymore..' my mum nodded, because she knew that I didn't feel like talking.

Mum:' so mitchie… you and shane..'

Me:' are over mum..' she nodded again. We were watching " titanic" it was one of my favourite movies of all time! Then I got a text.

Text:' mitchie.. I love you.. and I always will..' it was from shane. I smiled. And I replied.

Reply:' me too shane.. whenever you need me.. I'll be there.. I hope you all that is good in this world..' then I found a private number calling me, it was American idol, they wanted me to perform on that week's episode. I agreed of course.

It was a Thursday night, Caitlyn and my mum were backstage with me, I was going to perform, how to break a heart by nikki. I was wearing a black dress, with silver heals, and my hair was curly, I put some make up too. I went on stage and I was very nervous, but I remembered shane's words, and I closed my eyes and let my heart lead me. I sang, and the whole crowd including the judges stood up to encourage me and clap for me, I was so happy, and proud, but I wished shane was with me. I ran backstage and my mum hugged me tight.

Mum:' I am.. beyond proud of you..' then Caitlyn hugged me too. As we were going home, I found a text.

Text:' just as amazing as I remember you mitchie..' it was from shane. I replied.

Reply:' thank you shane.. by the way.. you helped me sing today..'

as much as I missed shane, I loved how our relationship was. A couple of weeks later, it was my birthday, and I was invited to the ellen show, I loved ellen so I went. I was wearing a pink dress and black heels, I straightened my hair and put some make up.

Ellen:' please welcome, the amazing mitchie torres!' I hugged her then I sat infront of her.

Me:' thanks ellen! It is a pleasure to be here!'

Ellen:' so I hear it's your birthday today!' I smiled.

Me:' yeah, it is, I am turning 19!'

Ellen:' happy birthday mitchie..'

Me:' thanks ellen!' then it was time for me to perform, it was a song I wrote, called " even though"

Me:' I miss you..

I miss our time together..

I love you..

With you everything was better..

But even though.. I want you near

Returning to you.. is my biggest fear

Even though.. my love is true

I know.. I belong with you

I always remember.. how it used to be

If I drown in a dark sea

You would have jumped.. after me

This is how it used to be.. this was you next to me

But even though.. I can't let go

Sometimes I know I have to..

Even though.. my mind you blow

To your heart.. I need no clue..' suddenly as I was singing, I heard someone else coming towards me on stage and singing along.. it was shane.

Shane:' I know I hurt you.. I know it aches

But seeing you far.. my heart it breaks..

I need you with me.. one more time

I need to hold you.. until the end of time

I love you.. more than I ever though could be

I miss you.. you always see.. right through me

So look into my heart.. and you'll see

How much you mean to me..

So even though.. it might be hard

I am willing to.. have a new start

Even though.. I can't let go

I'll wait for you.. until tomorrow' then we sang together.

Me and shane:' even though.. I can't let go..

I have to get back.. to where I belong..

Open your arms.. and catch me now

Living without you.. I don't know how..

I don't.. know.. how'

he smiled at me and I threw myself in his arms, he hugged me tight, I missed his touch. The whole audience clapped and ellen went to a break. Then she came and hugged us both.

Ellen:' a nice surprise, huh?' I looked at shane and smiled then back at ellen.

Me:' no terrible!' we all laughed and shane poked me. Then we both left together. The whole drive shane was holding my hand. We went to his house, we knocked and nate opened the door.

Nate:' don't tell me…'

Me:' yes!' he ran towards me and hugged me. Then we went inside, where Jason hugged me and then shane and so did mr. brown. I went to the kitchen to find my mum there.

Me:' NO WAY! You are all in this together?' they all laughed and nodded.

Me:' you are mean!' they all hugged me. A while later, barron, sander, Margaret, and Caitlyn came to us, they all hugged me and congratulated me and shane.

Shane and I dated for a whole year, I went to college, and shane went to his tours and made music, just like he was supposed to do. I recorded an album too which gained me a lot of awards, I dedicated it to my dad, Ashley and paige. And whenever I made any concerts I donated a ratio of what I gained to the cancer section in the hospital.

The next summer, I went back to camp, but this time as a counselor. I went to my first class, wearing the camp's cap as before.

Me:' hello everyone, I am mitchie torres' and when I looked up, I found Caitlyn, barron, sander, Margaret, shane, nate and Jason.

All of them:' hello miss mitchie!' I laughed and so did they. I started at camp and returned back to it. First as an assistant, then as a counselor, and who knows what next? Shane and I, went through so many ups and downs, but we always found our way back to each other, because we belonged together.

And just like my dad always said:' if it is meant to be.. it will happen..'


End file.
